Wendy is on her way to Louisville…loaded with goodness, of both books and apples

I’m part of a gleaning society. We move food that would otherwise rot in the field, getting it into people’s kitchens. We prioritize food banks and cafes that serve suspended meals or otherwise have token systems for those who can’t pay with money.

A week ago, the coordinator for the gleaners let us know they had apples. Great, everybody loves apples, right? Our coordinator and her husband picked them up.

Six half-ton boxes of apples. Three went straight to some food banks and suspended cafes. The call went out for community members to come get some fruit.

I took ten grocery bags of apples, with the intent of giving as many as possible away, and then canning up a bag or two for gifting. I run the buy nothing list in my county. The list proved disinterested, so I made sure to have some in my car when attending civic meetings. 12 dozen apple gifts later, people were starting to edge away from me at these events. “Don’t go near her, she’s handing out apples. Don’t leave your car unlocked. Apples are the new zucchini.”

And of course the apples landed in a busy week. We’re working on a federal grant – well we would be if our federal identity page for our non-profit worked properly. Six hours passed with help desks and support services, coring apples while on hold or waiting for instruction on what grew to be a more complex problem by the hour. There was something very meta about mashing apples when hearing there was nothing we could do but wipe our profile and start over.

Anger has to go someplace. Mine gave the 21 bottles of cider a nice spicy flavor.

200 cidered apples and one new federal identity page later, I checked the fridge. Apples in the meat drawer. Apples in the cheese drawer. Apples in the veggie drawer. Apples in the butter panel, in the egg holder, stuck behind the coil leading to the freezer. APPLES EVERYWHERE!

I made apple butter. I made apple pumpkin butter, thereby eliminating the problem of what to do with the pumpkin going over on my porch. (Our chickens are mutants. They won’t eat pumpkin.)

150 apples to go. In desperation, I googled “unusual apple recipes for canning.” Then I reset my filter to adult controls and googled it again.

Steamed apple bread pudding (yes you can can bread; you just have to know what you’re doing). Apple salsa. Spiced apple rings. Apple slaw. Each took fewer apples than one might have hoped. There were still a few dozen apples in my refrigerator as I packed a bag to be one of the authors featured at the Louisville Book Festival Nov. 11.

I put the bags in my car; the other authors will love me, I’m sure.