A Continu-WHAT?

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Feb. 9 was supposed to be our last day in court about the never-ending quest for a kind and just eviction.

His lawyer withdrew. She said in essence he was dissatisfied with the outcomes and communication had broken down. The judge looked…. distraught as he said he had no choice but to grant her request.

The next request: dude asked for a continuance. He needed the info and folder from Legal Aid. He’d “been busy” and needed more time.

His lawyer had left the courtroom. Five minutes before we started, my lawyer had said with a laugh that he would NEVER do a flat fee eviction again, because Legal Aid was all about delay, delay, delay. Another lawyer sitting nearby recounted his experiences and they commiserated.

Now my lawyer stood with yet another court date coming under his flat fee, and he used his cell phone to call the Legal Aid lawyer back and ask her about the folder. The judge granted the continuance, over the stringent objections of my lawyer, because “he had no choice but to be fair.” Plus, we all know this court appearance was about the fallout from how dude left the property: he ripped up a few things, took a lot of things, and threw everything else into the fire pit in plastic bags. It was just pure meanness, really, the kind of thing a little kid does when thwarted and unable to manage their emotions.

Ms Lester of Legal Aid

I asked my lawyer to make a quick deal: bring back the Zero Turn lawn mower and two paintings, and the rest would not be criminally prosecuted. The judge’s face lit up. He turned to Dude.

“You’re not gonna get a better deal than that,” he said. To my lawyer, he said, “what does she want back?”

My lawyer turned to me, and said, “In her own words, your honor.”

OK, so then I had to say, in court, to the judge, “a pig reading a cookbook.”

The judge choked back what sounded suspiciously like a laugh. I kept going “a painting of tree trunks, which is original and I can’t get back, and the lawn mower.”

My gaze flicked to Dude, whose face in that moment showed, God’s truth, happiness. He was happy that he had taken something that I really liked. That’s hard to deal with.

I will never see any of those items again. My lawyer will prosecute for the theft of the expensive lawn mower at the March date, after he’s had time to review that file and all….

And the Legal Aid lawyer had a bailiff follow her out, taser in hand, because of Dude’s demeanor to her in court. Since I’m allowed to talk to her now that she doesn’t represent him, I asked her if that happened often.

“This is the first time,” she said. “And I can take care of myself in terms of harm, but I don’t want to deal with the legal case that would follow.” She smiled at me and left.

Best exit line ever.

The pig artwork is by Lori Dieter. I love her whimsy.

Define “Theft”

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Is it stealing if you take back things others took from you?

Dude and his girlfriend got into an argument out at her place. Dude called- yes, really- asking me to come get him so the cops she called wouldn’t take him to jail. Then he called back that he was staying there for the night and leaving in the morning.

In the morning he sent a polite text that he was packed up and ready to go, but thanks anyway for my help.

I texted back asking if the stuff missing from my property was in his packed car.

He didn’t answer.

When they left my house on the final eviction notice, they took almost all the furniture (except an old couch the dog puked on, gosh darn it) and quite a lot of artwork. I sent through my attorney a list of things I wanted back “or else” there would be a criminal prosecution.

Then that phone call came, and suddenly I had her address. Well……

A friend and I drove out there. Yep, half my worldly goods were sitting on her front porch. So we did what came natural. I have back all but two of my important artwork pieces, the big rocking chair that Jack’s friends gave him, our expanding ladder (and essential piece of homesteading equipment), and assorted other goods that make me happy.

The one thing we did not see was the large riding mower, known as a Zero Turn. The one thing girlfriend reported stolen was the Zero Turn. My lawyer called to ask me if I had reclaimed it. Said they were “tracks in the snow around where it was kept.” Which cracked us up because girlfriend’s first attempt to reclaim my stuff from it being taken away from her was to say she knew we had been there because there were footprints in the snow.

Yes, dear. Okay. So anyway, of all the things we took, they reported something that we didn’t take (that wasn’t there in the first place) as stolen. So now my lawyer says we won’t prosecute for theft if they return the remaining two sentimental paintings and produce a police report saying they reported the zero turn stolen.

I asked his logic for this and he said, “Because lying to the police is in itself a felony. Leverage.”

Ah. My lawyer is very smart. So is my friend who went with me to reclaim stuff. We successfully tied that very long ladder to a not-that-long car and as we drove away with everything (confidently heading in the wrong direction for five miles before turning around) she said, “Two academic women can still manage a ladder. Score one for the girls.”

Yep.

We technically have court tomorrow, so I’ll let you know if anything happens because somebody stole something, and who the court decides stole from whom.

Meanwhile, I am rehanging some artwork.