Tailored for Mature Women

Tailored for mature women?

What, you using fishing line in the basting to see if you can hook us? Are you even now looking for the bones of ancestors to reinforce the stays you’re hoping to put back in our blouses? Stay was never a smart command anyway, although it might make a reasonable request from a partner more into respect than careful constructions of acceptable appearances.

Tailored for mature women?

Honey, you think a tuck and dart could possibly contain us? We will bust your seams, strip your stitches and move on. They were never sewn with us in mind, those bits of disconnected thread, and it shows. We are too much, too many, too big for you to handle. Love handles? You should be so lucky.

Tailored for mature women. Ha. Women over 50 know what’s worth worrying about, and what’s worth fighting for. Your cute little swaying tops with floral arrays charmingly arranged to accentuate our bosoms and keep eyes off our hips are so many fire extinguishers sent to a flood. You honestly think most men have spent our careers looking anywhere besides our breasts? We’ve had 30 years of professional experience that says otherwise; just where are these marketing surveys about our flesh being conducted, boys?

Send us bespoke blazers in faux-equity-repelling prints. Fashion us a transparent blouse that makes others see how we feel. Trousers where the rubbing fabric sounds warnings. How about shoes that do the dancing for us, backwards, high heels optional. If we want to wear them we will, and if we don’t, we won’t.

That’s just one of many ways we expect to decide what happens to our own bodies, all you tailors out there making your stitches smaller and more binding.

Tailored for mature women, my ass.

The Monday Book: DELAWARE BEFORE THE RAILROADS by Dave Tabler

The Monday Book comes from guest author Dave Tabler this week, author of a new book about the state of Delaware.

What are my three biggest influences as a writer of history? Ripley’s Believe it or Not, Paul Harvey’s “Rest of the Story” radio show, and my 8th grade geography teacher, Mr. Jarboe. Ripley’s, because Robert Ripley was able to boil down the essence of a historical item into one cartoon panel visual; Paul Harvey because of his ability to lead the listener right up to the cliffhanger, leave them gasping for air during the commercial break, and then resolve the rest of the story very neatly in a minute or two. And Mr. Jarboe, because he used the clever hat trick of telling the story of famous people through their teenage eyes. Which of course appeals endlessly to 8th graders! I wanted to create a history book that has the stunning glossiness of National Geographic photography, coupled with event driven narrative that gallops along in ‘you are there’ first person. I wanted to work in an overall style that seduces the reader with a sense of just how familiar the lives of those from long ago feel once you get past the funny speech and the strange clothing. I’m not a Delaware native, and I’ve only lived here for 12 years. But the advantage of seeing this place as an outsider is that I notice things locals take for granted. How fascinating that “the penman of the American Revolution,” a close friend of Thomas Jefferson and George Washington, hailed from Dover! That Delaware’s early history is in fact the nation’s early history in miniature! In “Delaware Before the Railroads,” I’ve avoided footnotes and a professorial tone. I want my reader to feel that history is not reserved for ivory towers and dusty bookshelves, that history is a living thing that informs who we are and how we got here, and told right, can help guide us toward how we might develop next as a culture