Tag Archives: volunteers

Finding the Joy in the Journey

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The garden has its second planting. The canner is going full tilt. I got another personal rejection from a fiction agent.

It’s a journey. The rejection was friendly, kind even, and specific about the reasons. It’s good grist for the improvement mill, and I’m grateful that 1) I am now consistently getting past the interns with most agent queries, and 2) some agents are kind enough to supply feedback, believing in the maturity of the author to incorporate it rather than fling it back in their face. Good on ya, agents. Your job can be emotionally draining, and it’s so helpful when you send that kind of information.

When I get a personal rejection, it feels invigorating. Someone cared enough to read my work and give me an honest opinion. That’s quite something in today’s crowded, noisy world. It means there’s a reason to fight another day to get my work to the right person.

Agents are a lot like dating: you have to find the person whose worldview either aligns or at least encompasses yours. You have to impress each other. You have to learn to trust and believe in each other. It’s a LOT like dating.

And it’s actually fun. In a success-driven society where people literally make “friends” with each other based on how useful they think you’re going to be to them later, hunting an agent feels honest. And like a learning opportunity. It’s a financial contract with emotional edges. It’s a strategic process where you learn what works and what doesn’t, pit what you think against advice from experts, and learn to flex.

As you send your five queries per week, it can feel like a game. Which is a good thing. Helps you keep your sanity as you add another rejection to the RESPONSE column of your query spreadsheet.

These days those response entries say things like “Personal no, too much romance,” and “personal no, possible reconsideration if…” When I scroll up a dozen entries, I wasn’t getting past the interns. A spreadsheet doesn’t just keep you from querying someone twice, it shows you progress.

Forward, onward, north to Narnia – or Chicago, New York, Charleston. Not all the awesome agents are in NYC.

There’s a joy in the journey, and a satisfaction to knowing you’re writing something worth looking at. To having done the work. The gatekeepers are part of the work, so make them part of the fun.

Ask a Polite Question

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This month I’ve had two moments in projects I was involved in when the path forward was clear: run away.

In the first instance, someone in authority said something that seemed both pointed and rude. Passive aggressive. A rush of anger carried me to pick up my phone and type a withdrawal from the project they were in charge of, one that burned five months of my life with no result.

But I waited 24 hours before sending, mostly because I have good friends who give good advice, and that’s what one of them said to do. Then, instead of firing off the fiery missive, I called the project management team and asked if that particular event had seemed off to them.

Why yes, it had, and they’d been wondering if anyone else had noticed. A few questions passed back and forth, and within two days I discovered that not only was I frustrated, but EVERY SINGLE new contractor hired on the project had been sharing my experience – nothing was getting past the gatekeeping people who ran that workshop full of passive aggression.

Well now….. within another day, the new contractors had new contracts. It startled me, how
straightforward it was to say ever so gently, “Perhaps there is money to be made in prolonging a problem rather than solving it.” And to hear laughter coming from the project management headquarters as the manager assured me they had been wondering the same thing.

It’s not that we took down a bad guy; the “you ain’t getting past us” people weren’t doing evil; they were doing what they thought their jobs were, following what they considered best practice. Thereby killing all the creativity of the contractors. When everyone sat down and had a chat, things opened up. Best of all, none of us who answered a genuine call for how our experiences were going (Ummm, they aren’t?) got in trouble. It wasn’t whistle blowing, more like humming a note until everyone could catch it and harmonize.

Not long after, I sent an email asking for information in a volunteer group, info it seemed other people already had because it involved which members of the team did what, and I had come to the party late. Crickets. I emailed again, saying ever so diplomatically that a volunteer asking for information was a good sign, because it meant new blood, which meant continuity and vitality and more people to share the load.

A swift and thoughtful reply came back, not only giving the info but filling in a large piece of how the remits fit together. Friendly. Professional. Kind. Not making a big deal of anything.

I used to be the person who sat at the back of groups and thought up snarky questions, which I then convinced myself I was too shy to ask. When that changed, I don’t know, but the polite clarification role does seem to be working. On the heels of these gentle successes, I feel like a frigging union organizer. All hail, the power of polite questions!