Safe Places and Coffee–

A conversation with a friend kicked off this post from Jack – –

Way back when Wendy and I were courting and she was studying for her Folklore PhD in Newfoundland, she wrote a paper on coffee and its position in different cultures and societies. Before it was published in an eminent folkways magazine, she sent it to me in Scotland. Part of it was about women creating a safe place where they could gather, drink coffee, and share their experiences.

At the time I was head of a large department in a community college and had two secretaries handling different parts of my job. Louise dealt with my three EU-funded environmental education projects with partners around Europe. Sarah did all the paperwork to do with the mundane day-to-day departmental stuff.

In Wendy’s paper she explained that when the women who gathered for coffee were invaded by men, they would immediately switch to talking about things that embarrass men to drive them away.

I knew that Louise and Sarah would meet each morning with the other secretaries at our end of the college for coffee in one of their offices. There were usually about five or six of them and, varying ages but all women.

One morning I was hit with a job that required their help, so I went in search and stumbled into where they were ensconced –  –

As I walked in they were talking about – pregnancies, breast feeding, menopause – –

To this day I don’t know if that’s actually what they were already talking about or if they were just ‘showing me the door’!

Come back next Wednesday for more from Jack

5 thoughts on “Safe Places and Coffee–

  1. Years ago when I was working at a customer site out of state, my coworkers habitually met for dinner: to chat a bit about work but mostly to decompress. After too many evenings of non-stop talk about pro sports and fishing, the other woman and I hatched a plan. We devised a list of Topics that would be launched should need arise. As we waited for a table, the plan and first item (cramps) were mentioned to one of the guys, who, it happened, had worked with a group of nurses in a hospital. “Oh, God, no!” he said. He absolutely became The Enforcer. “Guys, stop! You don’t want to know. You do not want to get them started!”

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