At our 26th anniversary party a couple weeks ago, we discussed a documentary I’m a big fan of, called THE GREAT HACK. Its best moment is when the techies say data surpassed oil in value.

On Thursday past, as I was driving the consultant for our big annual board retreat (for my day job as a non-profit director) to the restaurant, I got a FB message from a friend. She asked for help getting back into her account because she was locked out.

Yes, I know. How gullible can one be? Especially as there were grammar mistakes and this woman never mixed up there, their, they’re in her life. But I was busy. I literally handed the phone to the consultant and asked her to follow up on getting the codes in while I drove.

By the time my board dinner was in full swing, I no longer had control of my FB account. Somebody was selling a car on my FB page, which is how my friend Elissa, one of the smartest people in the universe, alerted me something was rotten in online Denmark. She is also one of the kindest of humans; not only had she contacted me immediately; she mobilized a bunch of friends to report the hack. Apparently FB is not known for moving swiftly but the sheer volume of people who helped in immediate response meant it went offline within the hour.

Then I began getting funny messages from Paypal. Fool me twice, no. I locked down everything that was left to lock down- which necessitated a fraught conversation with my sweet husband Jack who believes no one in the world ever has an ulterior motive or the ability to get your social security number once they have your FB details. We may have shouted at each other. (Sorry, honey!)

We finally got our personal stuff all changed, and next morning I awoke to about 97 notifications of things the hackers had tried. I saw another Wendy Welch had been created. Although I don’t believe it can get online.

Weird texts appeared from friends who said they had sent money to buy the car I was selling, could they get their money back? Mmhmm. I started asking my friends to prove who they were: when did we last go skinny dipping, what did you say that time I suggested we shoot feral cats together ….

This I learned from my wise friend Cami, because when I began texting friends mid-dinner to NOT ANSWER ANY REQUESTS FROM ME FOR HELP WITH CODES she texted back that she had already begun to do so (all my friends know I’m a Luddite) and then realized before she sent the second code. And asked where we met. They went away. She was faster than me. In my defense, I had my board president on the right and the consultant on the left and we were talking serious business……

Also, those hackers moved FAST. About nine of the dozen friends I contacted had already heard from the hackers. It’s so easy to take a trusting, helpful person into lala land and get hold of their stuff. Y’all be careful out there.

All this said, I have to tell you, it’s not so bad. I don’t know if there’s a fake me up someplace (and if you get a friend request DO NOT ACCEPT IT). But here at home, there’s a real me taking this opportunity to do without Facebook for a bit. To see what it would be like to drop the digital behemoth in favor of, I don’t know, occasional phone calls? Texts? Heck, could we actually do lunch? Will I miss my online canning community? The buy nothing group I started, will they be okay?

This time Monday I may be back online (and I’ll make sure you know it’s me if I do: code word PUPPIES). But hey maybe the not-so-great hack has a silver lining.

Meanwhile, if anyone knows whether I need to change my iPhone number, since they used it to apparently contact a bunch of my friends that I needed help and me that my friends wanted their money back, please let me know how. Or any other post-hack advice. We’re sweet little old people who still believe in the goodness of the world’s population over here. Thanks!