Category Archives: humor

The Tuesday Swimming Incident

The Monday book will be back next week. Sit back and enjoy the story of Wendy’s latest adventure….

Regular readers know that I enjoy canning. Like, a lot. It’s my down time upper. So yesterday evening I was squeezing out seven quarts of mixed veg from our garden, which is putting out more daily. Having a good time, rocking out to a little oldies Abba, slicing and dicing and spicing.

I threw a load of laundry in at the end, because canning is a messy business. And because Tuesday morning is my swim aerobics class with my sister, and it had been ages since my suit had been washed, what the heck, in it goes.

(Yes, I know washing is bad for suits. Just like fungal growth is bad for suits. It needed a scrub.)

Next day, sis and I are paddling in the pool preparatory to class beginning, and I feel something in the lower area. Like elastic that’s poked through. Oh well, I think, I know better than to wash a suit with other clothes, ruined it. I reach in….

…. and pull out a string bean.

A dried up string bean that looked so much like elastic at first that I didn’t realize what was happening. Until I felt a little pebble-like thing caressing my cheek….

After removing the two beans and the other half of the string bean husk, I placed them as surreptitiously as possible on the drain at the side of the pool.

A few minutes into class, the lifeguard gets this incredulous look on his face, climbs down from his chair, and walks to The Place of the Bean.

My sister who drags me to the class each week shouts, “It’s a string bean and it’s hers!” She points at me. “She cans everything and it got in her suit!”

Fortunately the instructor had The Beegees blasting at top decibel so not many of the participants heard her. Only one woman turned and asked, “Do you can in your suit? Is that cooler? I can a lot and…”

I am not banned from the pool. That is the good news.

My sister will die at the time and place of my choosing, and they will find her with a green bean shoved into her throat, serial killer style. That is the other good news.

Thank you for coming to my comedy of errors life show.


Filed under humor, small town USA, Wendy Welch

Friends Indeed

Jack’s Wednesday post is very late, but here’s the reason – –

We had lots of difficulty finding reliable trades people when we first moved here, but – –

As is often the case, after a while we have eventually used our new network of friends to connect with a couple.

A few of months ago we noticed that our kitchen sinks were slow to empty and then we saw water appearing in the ground outside. I got a long ‘snake’ and that helped but the problem came back. Wendy asked a friend if she knew any plumbers and – lo- a couple of days ago Thomas arrived with a couple of helpers and within an hour had worked out the probable culprit! Our sink had been connected to an ancient steel pipe that had corroded and that’s where the leak was coming from. But that doesn’t explain the blockage, so more investigation required.

We decided that in the event of a power outage we should have a back-up source of heat and got a small wood stove. But finding someone to fit it including the necessary chimney piping was proving difficult, until we discovered the very competent Nate who lives nearby. He first mended the fence in our back yard and then took on the wood stove job, sourcing all the needed stuff and came yesterday to measure up.

Before that we had invited our friend Leroy to come for an overnight with his guitar to play some music with me. The fact that he’s a competent electrician and we need a double outlet fitted beside our freezers is a pure coincidence!

I know from experience and from both sides that finding reliable trades folk can be very frustrating. I was Head of Construction Trades at a Scottish college for many years and ran a painting business before that. My Dad, who started the company, always said that the flow of work was “aye a hunger or a burst”. Nobody wanted painters in the winter and everybody wanted them in the spring.

My impression, though, when I was working in that college was that plumbers were very conscious that much of their work was dealing with emergencies and they took that seriously. When our friend contacted Thomas on our behalf he arrived within two days and made sure things were under control. That must mean he pushed other work back by a day, so someone had to wait.

The secret is simply good communication and Thomas was on his phone frequently during his time in our yard, as well as explaining constantly to us what he was doing and why. So his other clients knew about our emergency and we were re-assured!


Filed under between books, home improvements, humor, Life reflections, small town USA, Uncategorized, VA, Wendy Welch