The Monday Bike Ride

Someday I will have time to read a book again. This month won’t be it. I literally forgot I’m in Albuquerque for a week; who forgets that they’re flying to Albuquerque?

Perhaps I can read a book on the plane….

Meanwhile, my Monday mornings start earlier these days, with a 6:15 a.m. cycle class. The first time, I arrived late, they had started, I got the wonky bike with no time to learn to use it, and the class was terrifying.

The next week, I arrived early for an orientation, got the swanky bike that tells you how many calories you’re burning, how many miles you’re traveling, and how hard your body is working, and the class was terrifying.

The instructor told us to set goals for the class. By week three, I had two: do not fall off this bike, and do not throw up.

The class is just on the edge of too hard for me, and after the first-time disaster, the only thing stopping me from a quiet quit was Becky, the teacher. Becky is one of those instructors you wish you could hate. Perfect hair falling in glorious beach waves around her face, you could add a watermelon to the scale and her weight still wouldn’t reach three digits. Barbie-esque in perfect exercise wear, she exudes confidence and strength.

And gosh darn it she is one of the kindest, smartest people you will ever meet. Which is annoying when you really need to hate her for doing this to you about halfway through a class where the bike is going 85 RPM with 8 resistance, and she says–in that reasonable tone that makes it sound like the best idea in the world–“OK, now I know your legs are on fire so we’re gonna get some relief and stand up, weight over the pedals, up you get, it’ll be great…..”

Have you ever (in adulthood) stood up on a bike going the equivalent of 65 miles per hour? It is an exhilarating experience, but only in the sense of survival. It can be done, despite images of my body hurtling across the room at said 65 mph.

Becky knows just what to say, when: at the beginning of class, “(mildly sarcastic tone) Come on, you don’t start your Monday morning this early for that little effort”; mid-way through, when we are all huffing and grasping blindly for water bottles, “(soothing voice) Give it what you got; you’re not competing with anybody but yourself”; and at the end of the class when we do the sprint speed spurt, “(exuberantly) You and your friend are on the flat stretch and it’s hot and you’re going to the pool, move, move, move! The faster you get there, the sooner you can get in the water!”

Becky sits with perfect posture and shouts these perfect encouraging words to the rest of us as we wilt across handlebars, trying to remember how to breathe.

So yeah, we love Becky. At the end of class last week, she said to me, “I’m glad you’re enjoying this.” Being a words girl, I hesitated over the word, “enjoying,” but you know, when the music is pumping and she’s urging us to find that rhythm of pedals against the beat of the song and we’re burning a calorie every seven seconds and everyone is climbing that hill together, no competition, just you and the bike and Becky’s voice exhorting, “You are strong, you can do this, there’s a reason you get up so early,” well, yeah, okay.

Enjoyment.

A Cautionary Garden Tale

Fascinated by herbal foraging since an early age, I finally got a chance to take a course in regional wildcrafting. With glee, Jack and I learned to add ground chickory root to our coffee, scooped up dandelions and violets for wine, and chowed down on our overgrown hosta border.

Spot the difference

That’s right, hostas are delicious, when you get the little rolled up bit early on or in the center of a new plant. Jack particularly loved them, and since it’s hard to get him to eat greens, I went back out for a second round the next day.

Here’s the thing: foraging requires extreme and constant caution. There are no guesses in the wild; there are plant ID apps, books, more experienced foragers, and a few tell-tale signals. Opposite leaves versus staggered on the stem; whether the stem has tiny hairs and is round versus smooth and square; harvesting root versus flower; these can literally be the difference between life and death. That’s why newbie foragers love dandelions; it’s one of the few, the friendly with all-safe parts and no toxic twin.

I was being careful; I read up on which parts of the hosta were edible, what cautions indicated if you had any medical conditions, all that. And then I reached down in my safe, simple home garden, across the thin wooden barrier separating flower beds, and plucked a lily of the valley.

Because it was my garden, you know? A space that belonged to me with casual confidence that dulled a thousand safeguards. Like being among friends in an Internet community when an innocuous comment suddenly splinters the group, because someone takes it out of context into a personal fight. Or turning right near your house without that second glance up the cross street; you’re on home turf and a pick-up couldn’t possibly be bearing down on you.

Feeling snug and safe at home, I did what I would NEVER do in the wild. This is how my husband wound up eating half a lily of the valley leaf, a plant so toxic that two leaves can kill.

You don’t know fear until you think you’ve poisoned your husband. First, you enjoy his company and don’t want to harm him. Second, your mind flies to how awkward the funeral will be if you are the inadvertent cause of his death.

I spent the evening with a list of LOTV poisoning symptoms pulled up on my phone, watching Jack like the proverbial tiger-mother-hawk. We agreed that one bite was not enough to deal with the drama of calling for help; we prefer to eschew such scenes. We would be vigilant on how we felt, and I would never make that on-the-ground mistake again, but we also weren’t going to give that tiny plant more scare power than it deserves. Identify, avoid, move on.

Since the dawn of time, gardens have been notorious for one internal bad apple spoiling the whole scene. Will this lapse keep me from the joys of foraging, discovering new friends in the plant world, getting to know their professional powers and personal beauties? Not on your life. Is it going to make me super cautious about believing in safe spaces? Oh yes.

Jack is doing well. He didn’t have any side effects at all. My heart raced all night. Shocker.