Category Archives: VA

Fair Fa yir Honest Sonsie Face

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Jack’s guest Wednesday post gets there on time again – –

As a singer of Scots songs and ballads I’ve been very privileged to travel all over the world for free – and sometimes even made some money too.

One of the more bizarre events was a Burns supper in Istanbul. It took place in the UK Consulate and involved me and my friend George Haig. He had a Scottish friend who worked for the New Zealand milk and cheese organization and was posted to Istanbul, and he wangled the gig for us, at the end of January In the mid-1990s.

We set out on a free plane ticket from Edinburgh airport where we had been instructed to pick up a box, which turned out to be in a ‘secure room’. It was a large haggis and the box was originally for whisky so both involved a fair amount of explanation at Turkish customs.

Our milk and cheese host accommodated us at his house which was in a gated community with a blockhouse and armed guards. After years of playing music all over Europe with no need for armed security we were a bit alarmed!

Then to the actual Burns Supper –

The Consulate dates back to the Ottoman Empire and is magnificent in opulent architecture. The occasion equaled the setting, with full table service, a bottle of excellent Scotch on each table and a menu that was fit for any clan chief! Seated with us at our table was a young lad from Kirkcaldy who was a pipe major in the British army and had chosen himself to be the one to pipe in the haggis. We immediately hit it off!

Being a port city there happened to be a Royal Navy ship in the harbor and the officers were invited to join us. They were all English but one of them had attended a private school in Scotland and fancied himself as a piper.

Eventually, after he had played a fairly nondescript and predictable set of tunes, he invited our Kirkcaldy friend to join him for a duet. He had arrived late and hadn’t heard the piping in of the haggis! And he was an arrogant toff from the ‘senior service’ who considered himself ‘upper class’ – much above anyone from the army.

What then happened was glorious, with our table friend leading the navy guy into ever more complex musical traps. There was no way of escape and on it went for more than twenty minutes, as everyone else gradually realized what was going on—including the lesser piper who couldn’t figure out why he suddenly had nowhere to go at the end of each run. I should explain that pipe tunes often involve ever more complex variations on the basic tune and our new friend new them all and the navy guy didn’t.

We stayed on a couple of days and got to visit the Souk and play more music in a bar, but that piping duet and ambush I will never forget!

Combined Interests Increase Interest

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Almost a year ago now my “it’s complicated” sister Nora talked me into joining a gym–and then actually going to the classes. It turned out to be both fun and useful, which is a pleasant combination.

This one is Mullein

This past January, I signed up for an herbalism course. (I like my pastimes to be fun and useful.) I don’t talk about herbs online because, after waxing eloquent about the joys of canning food grown in my very own garden, people assumed I was a prepper. Why feed that fire?

No, today I would like to talk about how to combine interests for maximum benefit. About midway through my HIIT aerobics class (which stands for something like High Impact, Intensity Terminal) my energy was flagging. My brain, seeking a way to keep me engaged, came up with “Ever notice how much this workout resembles herbal foraging?”

For instance, that kettle weight we swing up in the air above our heads, then down between our knees in a controlled movement? Have you ever had a basket full of meadowsweet you’re trying to shake loose from bees? Up, down, gentle, don’t overdo it, bye bye bee. Perfect!

Then there’s the speed skater exercise, also a very controlled movement, yet swift. You flex one leg and touch the ground with one hand, the other extended high in the air. Immediately I knew what this was: Is This Goldenseal? The move is so quick, the other hand so distracting, you could swoop in and harvest the elusive stuff before anyone noticed, not alerting them to the presence of this endangered herb. (Dear herbalists, yes, I know. Let it go, k?)

The Side Dumbell exercise (a gentle deep squat with weights in each hand, arms straight, slow and steady to an upright stand, then down again) is actually the I Have Two Baskets Full of Berries and There is a Bear Coming. You lower the baskets to the ground, stand, and back slowly in a reverse high knee march. (Two exercises in one!) The bear eats the berries instead of you. All is well.

This one isn’t

Perhaps my favorite Aerobics-cum-Foraging moment is the Mountain Climber. This is a frenzied movement in which you jog while pretending your hands are scaling the Eiger without benefit of ropes. Nay, gentle friends. We are not simulating determination to scale a peak because it is there; rather it is the frenetic dance of some amateur whose friend checked the plant ID app and declared of some non-flowering small spring thing,”It’s 82% likely to be Mullein.”

The rookie stuffs a leaf in her mouth, just as her phone-bearing pal says, “Oh wait. It could be Foxglove.” The Climber exercise is then performed by both forager and friend, as the latter tries to beat off the resulting attack once the plant is confirmed as Mullein.

See? Combining interests maximizes utility and enjoyment. You’re welcome.