Tag Archives: flying

Don’t Fly With Me–

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Jack’s Wednesday guest blog – –

Like many people, I watched replays of 9/11 and the twin towers a couple of days ago, and I was reminded of the horror of it all.

Then I envisaged an imaginary phone conversation that might have happened afterwards between two imaginary characters called Dubya and Tone –

Tone: Hi Dubya – Just wanted to say how everyone here was horrified about what happened, and we send you our thoughts and prayers.

Dubya: Thanks, Tone, and we use thoughts and prayers a lot over here. They’re very useful.

Tone: So, do you have any idea who did this and who’s behind it?

Dubya: Oh, yes – our guys have all the intel. The hijackers were almost all Saudis, and so was the man who planned it. The pilots got their visas through the Saudi embassy and trained over here.

Tone: So you’ll be hitting the Saudis hard, then? Bomb them back to the Stone Age like your Dad did in Iraq?

Dubya: Well, not exactly. There’s the oil and our arms sales to them, and some are good friends.

Tone: What, then?

Dubya: Unfinished business in Iraq.

Tone: But they didn’t have anything to do with it, and one of our best scientists is part of the UN team that just concluded they don’t have any WMDs.

Dubya: You’d do me a big favor if you could take care of that and join me in what I’ll call ‘Operation Crusade’.

Tone: Done – he committed suicide in the woods near his house – no witnesses and no inquiry. So the guy behind this is in Iraq? I think he’s called Bin Laden? Isn’t crusade a bit provocative?

Dubya: He’s in the mountains between Afghanistan and Pakistan, and my good friend has interests there. We need a pipeline through there to get oil to the Indian Ocean.

Tone: Well, far be it for me to say, but we tried it in the 1800s, and the Soviets tried it in the 1900s, and both of us failed.

Dubya: So, can I count on you?

Tone: Of course!

Bin Laden: Perfect – – – –

Jack: I didn’t show Wendy this post.

Come Fly With Me–

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Jack’s Wednesday guest blog – –

There was a time when I enjoyed flying. During the 1980s and 1990s, I flew all over Europe and back and forward across the Atlantic.

Some of this was work-related, some was with my folk band, and some was just for leisure. Of course this was before 9/11, and airport security was much more relaxed.

I was late to check in for my flight from Boston to Scotland and was put on stand-by. I was also the last person left and got the last seat. It was first class – not business class – actual FIRST CLASS!! I had a personal dedicated flight attendant, unlimited drinks and excellent food, just like the other five folks who’d paid for it. And just one of the unexpected perks for an itinerant folksinger.

I was flying with the other members of my old band Heritage to Venice for a two week regional festival called FolkEst. The leg from London to Venice was with Alitalia, and the pilot had a tailwind. So he announced he’d give us a small detour over the Eiger and Jungfrau, explaining we shouldn’t move from side to side, as he would give everyone a view. That’s when we looked down and saw plainly the ledge on top of the Eiger, where we’d all been sitting just a few months earlier when playing on a Swiss tour. Our pilot got a sitting ovation as we touched down in Venice,

Alitalia also had the best food, which is something else that I began to pay attention to over the years. They were also one of the last airlines that still had smoking seats at the back of the plane!

I always enjoyed people watching, but when transferring at Heathrow in London to a Scottish flight, almost all the people on the other side of the walkway were folk I knew every time! Scotland is a small country!!

But do I still enjoy flying? No, NO, NO! Less legroom, pay extra for almost everything, nasty food – – –