In a recent political speech, the presumed Republican presidential candidate referred to some people as “vermin.” When mainstream media compared this to speeches given in the Weimar Republic by another infamous candidate seeking to lead his country, the presidential candidate’s team called the comparison disgusting and a deliberate attack intended to obfuscate issues.
I’ve struggled with how to write this, because my calling out our local theatre director over the summer for racism and misogyny resulted in me being called an attacker, and I don’t want to write an “it happened to me” blog. I want to write a “words matter and we’re in trouble so move through your life with prayerful integrity” blog.
Over the summer I was a volunteer on an arts committee for our town’s local theatre. When it became evident that there were issues with equity in pay and in choices of acts—and also that voices of artists from diverse communities were missing from the planning group—I asked questions. This culminated in a phone call with the theatre’s director, where I called out certain decisions and several preceding actions since his arrival as white supremacy.
All hell broke lose. The director asked me to a meeting with a board member, told me I was disgusting. It is a common strategy to say someone else attacked you when you feel defensive.
The board member told me I had no right to attack the director. Both said I should be ashamed. When you cannot justify your actions, when you do not want to engage on why what you’re doing is good (or even good enough), you attack.
In talking afterward with the regional newspaper about the events at the theatre, a heavy sigh preceded the reporter putting into words what we both knew: the same thing is happening everywhere. What used to hide behind coded language and secret handshakes is now a campaign platform. The only unusual aspect of the local theatre story was that the director actually got fired, a unique twist to a standard plot.
Dear reader, let me challenge you with another twist on a now-standard saying, “if you see something, say something.” What’s happening right now in the “God is on OUR side” culture wars requires knowing the difference between calling someone names, and calling someone out.
When I ended the meeting with the board member, he was still defending the director, who was still insulting me. Something strange happened: the director’s last words as I left were, “Good luck to you.”
From nowhere, my mouth opened and out came, “I won’t need luck; I have integrity.”
I’m not going to wish you luck as you parse through the attitudes and actions of this coming year’s political climate. We’re not jerks, elites, woke-ists, or any of the other names we get called for refusing to let dehumanizing words and actions go by. We do very much need to avoid being self-righteous assholes, and I’m praying for wisdom, discernment, and integrity on how God plans for me to walk these days. Moral high ground is both heady and slippery.
Walk softly, never mind the big stick. If you see something, say something.
Tag Archives: integrity
The Fastest Way to Piss Off a Community Business Owner
When a first-time customer walks in, Jack and I smile and say hi in confidence that this is the start of a beautiful relationship. We’re proud of our bookstore, and its reputation for dealing honestly with people who bring in “old” books for free evaluations. We keep the store cheerfully clean, cozy and welcoming (as opposed to fully alphabetized and sterile, Jack says) whether you’re buying, browsing, or just in for some kitten cuddling.
And yeah, we have a reputation for being cuckoo for cats. It’s a fair cop.
But every once per 300 or so encounters, instead of returning this welcoming smile, the person looks back through squinted eyes and says something like, “You charge $3 for a Western? That’s too much. I can get them at the Goodwill for $1.”
Uh, no, you can’t because our Goodwill NEVER has Westerns, as you well know as a fan of the genre. Goodwill has romances ten for a penny, but no Westerns. Or desirable science fiction.
Once someone picked up a value paperback ($1 each, 6 for $5) and sniffed. “I see you changed your pricing. These books used to be 4 for $1.” (Hmm, you’d think I’d remember that, but I don’t.) “Everybody’s in it for the money these days.”
Or even, “Tell me exactly the value of each book I traded in, because that doesn’t seem like enough credit” when we’ve just given them $20 for a box that includes 27 battered children’s books and 3 Norton anthologies we’ll be selling for a quarter each.
Ask a small business owner if she’s in it for the money, and she will pee herself laughing. Let me tell you, there are HUNDREDS of dollars to be made in used book sales!
No, mom-n-pops tend to be in business as family tradition, or to be our own bosses, or because we literally love and are happy around what we sell or do. We just want a graceful sufficiency existence off the rat race treadmill. Had we wanted to make money, we’d have gone into health insurance.
Sometimes it’s evident that customers consider statements like those above preludes to haggling, but Jack and I see them as flat disrespect for local businesses. When haggling is done with mutual respect on both sides, it’s actually fun. It is not fun to deal with people who walk in saying they expect us to join the rest of life in ripping them off. Rather kills the kindness instinct, don’t you know.
Still, sir or madam, you have our deepest sympathies, and let us make you a cuppa–or show you the door, as you prefer. ‘Cause we’re not a corporation–no matter what the federal government says, they’re not people until they have feelings. We are real people, with real feelings, and real pride in our work. We respect out customers.
Which is why we don’t take no shit off them, should the occasion arise. Thank you.