The DPO strikes again

Anyone who, like me, owns a historic vehicle (mine is a 1962 MGB Roadster) will know the acronym DPO. It stands for Damned Previous Owner, and crosses our lips each time we come across some inexplicable previous ‘fix’ that makes what should be simple maintenance fiendishly complicated . I should say here that my good friend Colin, who owned the MG before me, most definitely is not a DPO. But the other guy before him….

Our home-cum-shop (for those who don’t know, we live on the second floor, the books on the first) has had more than its fair share of DPOs—particularly when it comes to electrical work over the years. We were first alerted when we had lights fitted to our shop sign recently; the contractor took me aside and said, “Lemme show ya somethin.”

I admit to a certain amount of trepidation as he led me into the basement, where he pointed out ancient, mouse-chewed wiring snaking gaily over copper water pipes.  “See ‘em?” his stubby finger jabbed at the wires. I reached up. He grabbed my wrist and said, “’Ems live.”

“Ehms live?” I repeated dully in my Scots accent. He gave me a confused look and spoke slowly: “You have electricity near copper. ‘Ats bad. Real bad. Get ‘er fixed.”

Accents have caused many moments in the six years we’ve been here. But the copper pipes and live wires were sparking serious concern, so part of our plan in redoing the basement was to, indeed, get ‘er fixed.

Our obliging friend and electrical guru (who would be known in Scotland as a ‘sparkie’), Leroy arrived with his trusty toolbox and we left our wives upstairs talking books as he and I descended into the bowels of the basement. Trying to make sense of the mixture of ancient and modern wiring down there, time swore on—not wore, but swore, I assure you.

But the air turned blue with terror when he opened up the main light fitting to discover almost every wire in the place was going in and out of there, including one that went into a wall and then came straight back out again and another that went to yet another light fitting that was inexplicably bricked up inside yet another wall.

See, electrical wiring is sort of like writing: it should have a clear beginning and a purpose for its movements, and it should reach a destination where it does something meaningful. And perhaps have a source from which it draws its power. Neither wires nor words should meander about sparking without intent.

Leroy and I got some sense restored and all the ancient bare wires disconnected without causing any problems in the house; the girls only shrieked once, when all the house lights went out as we tested which circuit went to what. All we need to do now is work out how and why the outlets in the kitchen are on the same circuit as the lights in the bathroom and mystery room, and then we’ll be able to stop cursing the DPOs – for the moment – – –

Meanwhile the non-electrical work in ‘Tutankhamen’s Tomb’ continues apace –

The hidden fitting

The hidden fitting

 

 

 

a new wall takes shape

a new wall takes shape

the infamous windows

the infamous windows

 

 

 

 

Definitely Worth the Trip!

Jack Beck guest blogs today on the Hylton in the Highlands weekend we participated in at George Mason University, and the memories it brought back.

Long before our little bookstore (or even The Little Bookstore) was a gleam in anyone’s eye, Wendy and I each pursued careers as itinerant folkies – festivals, concerts, summer-schools etc. The bookstore is a welcome anchor to our lives, but we still enjoy occasional requests like the one from Katie, events coordinator at Hyltons Performing Arts Center, inviting us to take part in a Scottish weekend at George Mason University.

Back when we did such events full-time, I developed a sixth sense for what was coming based on how things kicked off, so when our six-hour drive turned into ten through freezing rain and a blizzard, I was prepared for anything.

“Anything” has, in the past, included trying to sing while background muzak continued to blare over speakers, having no way to sell our merchandise, being billed as “Jeff Beck” (you never saw so many disappointed people) and even never being given a copy of the schedule because “no one knows where they are.” Wendy once toured with noted performer Sheila Stewart, and after being assured their evening concert should be “very informal,” they walked into the hall in blue jeans to find the audience in ball gowns and tuxedos.

The moment we arrived in the gorgeous Hyltons Center, with its copper rib walls and soaring ceilings (and its backstage hospitality room rife with excellent food) we repented our doom-and-gloom memories. Rarely have we experienced such well organized, welcoming and downright professional folk, from the aforementioned Katie (Events Organizer) to Rick (Executive Director) to Matt, Chris, and Kevin (the sound guys) and other staff.

The workshop we did Saturday on Scots-Appalachian story and song connections.

The workshop we did Saturday on Scots-Appalachian story and song connections.

Only when we returned from our day of rest at the magnificent hotel (complete with Wendy’s favorite appendage, a pool) to the sold-out Sunday evening Burns Supper for 200 did we experience a moment of “Ah yes, we just knew this was too good to be true.”

Silk, velvet and cashmere everywhere, guests sparkling and smiling from every corner—oh dear. I have experienced formal Burns Suppers and usually feel very out of place at these four-fork “dos” (and agree with our table companion Bonnie Rideout’s comment that Robert Burns would have as well).

Slated to deliver The Immortal Memory (me) and the Response from the Lassies (Wendy), we were piped to our table with the notables. In addition to Ms. Rideout, this included Rick the ED; Representative of the Scottish Government in N. America Robin Naysmith; and two officers of the British Regimental Army overseeing the pipe bands.

Expecting stuffed shirts, we were instead regaled by ice-breaking jokes about tartan trousers leading to genuine conversation on the prettiest places in America, and the sharing of addresses and websites for the best U.S. Scotch pies and homemade haggis. At one point an army officer leaned in and said, with some trepidation, “D’ya think they’d mind me getting seconds at the buffet?”

So you never know what an event is going to be like, and life continues to be an adventure. Sometimes it all goes wrong—and sometimes, it is just perfect.

But – we still have to drive home and there’s talk of freezing rain – – –

Bonnie Rideout in her fiddling workshop on Saturday.

Bonnie Rideout in her fiddling workshop on Saturday.