Irene and the Dancing Caterpillars

Zumba class is on Thursdays in a studio lined with mirrors.

The instructor Irene is a curvy woman, Indigenous from Mexico, who favors comedic songs. We love Irene; she makes Zumba so fun, you don’t notice you’re exercising. She makes us feel graceful and competent, like track stars.

Endorphins can be deceptive. If you actually look in the mirror as we collectively execute that Bollywood sweeping ankle uplift, foot flexed, well, some people, including you, might look silly. The men in particular are trying very hard to retain their dignity and their balance. These are connected.

Like all lifelong introverts, I excel at spatial orientation, so found the one place in the studio where I can see Irene but not myself in the mirror. Also, it is next to a fan.

Irene’s signature song is “Rollin on the River,” Ike and Tina Turner version. Anyone who knows that story recognizes the concert from which that recording comes is a famous one, because Ike beat Tina up shortly before. Tina talks about doing the song “nice and rough because that’s how we do things ‘round here.” Irene starts slow, going through the steps twice to make sure we have it. You can tell when the song is about to up tempo, because Irene starts grinning.

Then we’re off, flying triple speed through grapevines and stomps forward/backward, big wheel arm movements, and there’s no time to think, count movements, do anything except breathe, move, swing, stomp, turn, don’t hit your neighbor with the big wheel arm, grapevine.

The song moves so much, we wind up all over the studio. Which means we can see each other, all these women and two men trying hard to simply try hard. We wriggle and swing and look pretty much like sectional caterpillars attempting to exit cocoons after a large dinner. Sensible pageboy cuts and backs of balding heads swirl in the wrong direction as you realize you’re facing them when you should be facing away. They are laughing, but not from schadenfreude. From communal joy.

Not actual footage of the Zumba class

Because we’re not trying to turn into butterflies, we wriggling caterpillars. As Irene has told us, we’re already beautiful, skins of nine different hues shining with sweat as we fling curvy bulky bits this way and that. (Our melatonin runs the gamut from Nordic to Saharan.) I will add that Zumba feels safer since I found a great sale on sports bras. Before that, the big wheel threatened to beat me to death with my own breasts.

Communal joy is hard to come by these days. Maybe it’s easy in Zumba because we’re moving too fast to talk. Or because we all know it could be us next time, facing the wrong way against the tide. Perhaps we just like the idea of a bunch of men and women gaining power from an iconic “me too” moment song. Or how Irene starts each class with such enthusiasm: “Just keep moving and have fun!”

We don’t care which it is, just that it is. All hail Irene and the community of dancing caterpillars.

Iron Grey Ponytails Flying

It’s been a hellacious week, so Nora had to drag me to weekend exercise class. This month it was called KICKIT and I anticipated some BS about women’s empowerment and a few knee twinges.

Marshall, our instructor, came around and showed me where to stand for best balance, and how to pivot in a tennis shoe. He started the music, and off we went.

I had the time of my life.

Two minutes in, we all smelled bad, and some of us were yelling names at the bags. He showed us how to punch harder, protect our faces, use the whole foot, and some other fun stuff.

And as he showed us the culminating exercise of the first half of class–throwing one-two punches followed by “the groin kick”–Pretty Woman started playing. The five of us, grey ponytails flying, came alive. We slammed our hands into the bags, we threw our whole bodies into the high knee that didn’t so much tap the bag as take out an aggressor, and all I can say is I never felt so feminine in my life.

Mid-class, Marshall had us take a break, drink water, walk around. Just stay loose. I leaned against the window of the exercise studio, which looks down onto a basketball court. Little girls, maybe 8 years old, were donning knee pads and picking out balls. They all had ponies like ours, theirs with sparkly bows rather than iron grey streaks. Their instructor, wearing a tight hot pink warmup jacket, blew a whistle, and from O to 60 the girls started in. Dribbling and yelling and throwing their bodies in the air like fearless warriors. Some of them came down hard, jumped up, and threw themselves in the air again.

You go, girls. Do it for all of us. We’re counting on you.

Marshall called us back to order, showed us a few more moves, and congratulated me on a particularly well-placed kick. The fact that I was screaming a name at the time, he suggested, was not essential but if it made me feel more empowered, go for it. At the end of the class, one of the women apologized for letting an f-bomb fly, and we began a spirited discussion of the many ways the f-word could be used in appropriate contexts.

I’ll be going again next week.

This is not us. I just like the picture.