Well Hello There! I’m Selena, and I’ve been rescued from a shelter and am staying at the Litter Bookstore – oh sorry, the Little Bookstore – with my brother. Nobody was looking at us in there because he’s grey and I’m a tabby. I knew we were in trouble when we’d been there about three weeks, and two pretty little calico kittens came in and they were both gone the next day. Sure, they were cute – if you like tiny, fluffy, big-eyed, round balls of light colored fur.

Anyway, my brother Justin and me, we’re waiting at the bookstore for a furrever family. We’re not planning to go together. I like him just fine, but honestly, he kinda gets in the way of my needs. He’s such an attention hog. Always jumping on people’s laps before I can get there. And he’s lazy. All he wants to do is lie around on women’s bosoms with that creepy smile on his face. He’s got no shame. No work ethic.

Me, I plan to earn my keep as a house cat. I can relieve your muscular tension by walking back and forth on your shoulders. You can get on with your work and when I’m done massaging you, I’ll just slide into that space between your arm and lap and rest there. This position gives you support while you’re typing. No, don’t thank me. All part of the training here at the bookstore about how to be a good house cat.

I’m also excellent at household chores. I like to drink running water, so I jump in the tub when I want a drink, and lick the floor of the bathtub until somebody turns the faucet on. It keeps things clean. Again, no need for thanks. Happy to help my furrever family out. Mom and Dad got me spayed so you won’t have to worry about maternity leave either.

For fun, I like to lie in your lap. For exercise, I like to move between laps. For food, I like a lot of it, and that wet stuff is nice but I eat my crunchies like a champ because it’s important that my fur stay nice and shiny. All part of the service of being a house cat – keeping myself beautiful for you. No no, it’s fine. Anything to make my family happy.

So if you’d like to meet me, I can be interviewed Tuesday – Saturday 10-6 at the bookstore. Oh, yes, my brother is here, too. If you want to meet him. I’ll leave that up to you.