The Monday Book: INSTEAD OF THREE WISHES by Megan Whalen Turner

MEGAN WHALEN TURNER_0I read this book years ago as one of the judges for a storytelling magazine contest. Loved it then, loved it now, when it recently came through our shop.

Megan Whalen Turner wrote seven “fractured” fairy tales. I love twice-told tales, and slightly sarcastic senses of humor, so I ate this book with a spoon. In the title story,  a poor old elf in the modern world gets helped across the street by a girl he has to reward, but she is suspicious of his three-wishes offer. Things go from absurd to funny to sweet in this send-up of that age-old fairy tale motif.

My other favorite is “A Plague of Leprechauns,” when leprechaun-hunting turned tourism threatens the peace of an English village, until the pub owner and the guy who found the little green man in the first place get smart–and cynical. I love this one.

“Leroy Roachbane” is about the wonders of Borax in the ancient world. Time travel, local boy makes good; it’s fun.

My other favorite was “Factory” a rather amusing treatise on the practicality of being a ghost in an industrial society gone wrong. The humor Turner displays in this is wonderful. You have to realize, ghosts stay as they were when they died for eternity. The mom who’s plotting the death of her family is very worried about the fact that her two-year-old granddaughter has a cold. Which would be worse, she muses, to miss the moment and get evicted from their house before crossing over, or to spend eternity with a sick two-year-old? That kind of thing.

“Aunt Charlotte” is about a silkie with a seductive plan. “The Nightmare” will delight every child who’s ever been picked on by a bully (be advised one should not threaten little old ladies in the streets, boys). And “The Baker King” is a fun send-up of youthquests to become rulers.

I liked the stories for their simple, clear language and humor, and also because they exude warmth and compassion. Things work out right for the nice people. The supernatural characters are hysterical in their over-the-topness. The airhead tree nymph from Instead of Three Wishes is wonderful. And the humans are sweet, silly, charming, scary–real. This is intended to be a young adult read, but I’d recommend it for anyone who just wants an hour of escapism and a little faith in humanity restored. Leprechauns and elves can do that for you.

Porthos Speaks

athos and porthosHi! I’m Porthos an’ I’m the only girl in this family. We came to live here at the bookstore ‘cos the shelter was gettin’ crowded. Mom didn’t come with us ‘cos somebody wanted to ad- uhdot- adhop- somebody wanted her to come live with them.

That’s what we’re hoping happens to us. My brothers are silly, but I’m very sensible, so I’m sure I’ll get a furever home first. People like sensible cats. Plus I’m really pretty. Everybody says that when they see me, so ‘s okay for me to say so.

My brother Athos is my twin. He’s smaller than me an’ he has a white bit on his neck. HE says it’s a cravat. I says, “What’s a cravat?” an’ he says, “I dunno but it makes me sound smart.”Porthos dances

See? They’re eejits, both of ’em.

Athos likes to play, like me, an’ he loves to be held. D’Artagnon looks different from us. He’s stripy and he’s more scared of stuff. One time I saw him jump straight in the air ‘cos he saw the shadow of his own tail.

I dunno. Maybe I can’t go to a furever home first ‘cos they’d kill themselves doing stupid guy stuff if I wasn’t here. D’Artagnon dove headfirst off a bookshelf yesterday. Didn’t get hurt at all. He’d hafta have a brain to get hurt, right?D'Artagnon

I love my brothers, but it might be nice to live someplace that had a lap just for me, and not hafta keep saying “Don’t climb that rope; it’s not tied to the ring! Don’t stick your claws in that electric thingee! Don’t put your head UNDER the food!”

Ser’usly, the other day, Athos stuck his head IN the bowl of water. Like he was tryin’ to blow bubbles or somethin’. Then he comes up screamin’ blue murder.

porthosI didn’t touch him. I swear.

You can come visit us at the bookstore. We love feet, follow ’em around all the time. And we like bein’ carried, even D’Artagnon, but you kinda hafta let him get used to you first. He talks to your feet, and then you sit down, and he gets in your lap, and then you pick him up. Athos an’ me, we just climb straight up to your shoulder the minute we see you. View’s better from there.

athosOur foster mom says after we get our furever homes the boys will get tutored and I’ll get played. That sounds like fun.  Come visit us so we can get started! We’re ready to go home!