Author Archives: wendywelch

Tallulah’s Tail – er, Tale

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Jack gets inside the head of foster-cat Tallulah –

Tallulah (for that had immediately become her name) arrived at the bookstore with her three kittens from the shelter for distressed pets. Hmmm, she thought as she spied the other animals – Zora the lab, Bert the terrier, Valkittie the elderly cat and Owen and Bob the black and white young cats. But a door closed and she settled down to motherly duties. Every morning the door would open and the humans brought her fresh food and water; every day passed with kitten feeding and cleaning. Eventually the kittens left one by one and she didn’t mind one bit – they had begun to steal her food before she could get to it.

After the last kitten left the humans began leaving her door open from time to time and she could explore the rest of the house. My goodness – so many books in the place!

IMG_3627Time to position herself in the hierarchy of animals. Flipping her long-haired tail like a feather boa, she set out. Valkittie proved impossible to dislodge from her overall managerial position but the other cats adjusted appropriately, which left the dogs. It was just about then that she felt a familiar urge. Bob and Owen seemed like nice boys – but strangely uninterested in her allure. Now Bert, the terrier – he’s a real man. Could he be the one?

Alas, no. It seems cross-breeding won’t work.

The cat-flap? Of course! A world of furry men await!

That’s how she met the muscular black tom from the gym next door, who worked out and thus could leap the yard fence in a single bound – ah, bliss. He said he’d stick by her and show her a good time. But, no – just like the other one, once she’d given her all, he doesn’t come round any more.

Then one of the humans put her in the box she’d arrived in all those weeks before and she went for a trip. Oh, so sleepy – then awake and back in the box again. Such a palaver and just a bit stiff and sore. And somehow… lighter.

Here I sit and wait!

Here I sit and wait!

So, here she sits and waits to see what will happen next. Maybe somewhere out there is someone with room in his/her heart and home for a beautiful young Tallulah who doesn’t get those urges any more, but just loves to get petted by any passing human. Tallulah makes an attractive desk accessory and elegantly enhances any room decor. All she wants is a human to call her own. Could it be you?

Stephen King’s Basement?

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crime scene 003Stephen King says that writers have trap doors in their minds, and most ideas occur above them. Below the door is a basement full of sludge, hiding alligators; the secret of good horror and crime writing is to keep the gators fed, or they will break out and take over, and the world will become a real mess.

Imagine what went through my mind last night, then, when I arrived home to find these scenes in my little basement writing nook.

crime scene 010While Jack and I had a “yeah, we’re famous” three-day fun run through book festivals (Thank you, VA Festival of the Book, Clifton Forge, and Mountain Empire Community College!) the bookshop was left in the capable and devious hands of a few friends. Witness their creative touches. I may have to make that “Shining” salute my new FB profile pic.

And Bob enjoyed investigating the “blood.”

crime scene 012

The Russell Crowe poster references his unfortunate soul-searching solo at the edge of the bridge as Javert in Les Mis, six minutes so painful that, sitting alongside these same friends in the theatre, I heard myself yell at the screen, “For the love of God, somebody push him!”crime scene 015

(The guy can’t sing, and he’s really not convincing as someone who could ever doubt himself, either.)

So, keep the gators fed? Yeah, man. But keep your friends close–or you never know what they’ll do with a little cornstarch, some free time, and unfettered access to your basement.crime scene 016