The Cat Came Back

I moved out to our tiny house (it’s a doublewide but tiny house sounds classier to some people) in the wilderness in May, emptying our house in town so it could be sold…. sigh. It’s a sluggish market and the house is STILL for sale.

But I have zippo regrets about moving into the county. The birds wake me in the morning and the frogs sing me to sleep at night. It’s cool in summer. It’s easy to keep clean. It’s hard to reach so only people who really like me come out here.

I brought the two cats out, of course. Molly our mouser took to it immediately and within a day was running around under the trailer’s skirt taking care of business. O’Carolan, our blind cat, located her diner and litterbox, then found her comfy rug and settled in for a stress-reducing nap. Later I showed her the home’s three porches and doors so she could acclimate in case she wanted to sun herself outside.

Which is probably how it happened. I was gone for a few hours, and when I returned, O’Carolan was not in the house. The front porch cat flap doesn’t have a door in it, so if she made it to the porch and something startled her, she could technically get out. My guess is the shaggy dog from down the way who seems to be a communal pet came just as she was sunning on the porch.

The ironic thing was that I saw her as I crossed the last stream (there are four) to reach my house, and she ran in panic from the sound of my truck hitting the water where she had been drinking. I just didn’t have any reason to think it was O’Carolan then.

Once I realized she was missing, I was back at the Last Known Location within five minutes, banging wet cat food cans together and calling “brekkies! supper!” etc. Nothing.

Two days of nothing. Well, two days of walking up mountains and along streams and through other people’s property, calling “O’Carolan” and rattling a food bag. The neighbors here want privacy. When I crossed one lot and saw a dog house the size of my front porch–with no dog in it–I figured I would meet him shortly and that was how I would die.

Two days of bargaining with God, then railing at God, crying over the sufferings a blind cat would endure in heat, in cold, in a woodland filled with creatures. A full day of despair. I got caught in a thunderstorm at the top of a steep mountain and literally slid down rocks on my butt. I found two abandoned houses in the wood. I found a thousand bags of high-end potting soil abandoned in the woods. (These were later redistributed.)

I did not find O’Carolan. I “knew in my spirit” that she had died horribly. And then my friend Amelia texted, “Have you told the neighbors she is missing?”

Sometimes logic deserts us in a crisis. I scribbled notes and stuffed them in the collection of mailboxes at the end of the state-maintained road: Big black and white cat lost, blind. If you see her please offer food and call this number.

That evening, as I drove past the house at Ford 3, the reclusive owner was leaning on the porch and waved me down. He pointed. “Your cat’s over there. We gave her supper last night and today. She likes head rubs.”

O’Carolan sat content in her new pipe home. Nice people, regular meals, outdoor living….

We had to tilt the pipe up and chute-shoot her into a cat carrier. She snarled until she was in it, then began purring. Home we went, where I set out a can of her favorite food and she walked around as though two days of terror on my part had nothing to do with her.

In the words of my wise friend Amelia, “You had a harder time of it than she did.”

All’s well as ends well, but I did apologize to God for some of the mean things I said.

(O’Carolan reminiscing on her adventures from the safety of her porch)

A Continu-WHAT?

Feb. 9 was supposed to be our last day in court about the never-ending quest for a kind and just eviction.

His lawyer withdrew. She said in essence he was dissatisfied with the outcomes and communication had broken down. The judge looked…. distraught as he said he had no choice but to grant her request.

The next request: dude asked for a continuance. He needed the info and folder from Legal Aid. He’d “been busy” and needed more time.

His lawyer had left the courtroom. Five minutes before we started, my lawyer had said with a laugh that he would NEVER do a flat fee eviction again, because Legal Aid was all about delay, delay, delay. Another lawyer sitting nearby recounted his experiences and they commiserated.

Now my lawyer stood with yet another court date coming under his flat fee, and he used his cell phone to call the Legal Aid lawyer back and ask her about the folder. The judge granted the continuance, over the stringent objections of my lawyer, because “he had no choice but to be fair.” Plus, we all know this court appearance was about the fallout from how dude left the property: he ripped up a few things, took a lot of things, and threw everything else into the fire pit in plastic bags. It was just pure meanness, really, the kind of thing a little kid does when thwarted and unable to manage their emotions.

Ms Lester of Legal Aid

I asked my lawyer to make a quick deal: bring back the Zero Turn lawn mower and two paintings, and the rest would not be criminally prosecuted. The judge’s face lit up. He turned to Dude.

“You’re not gonna get a better deal than that,” he said. To my lawyer, he said, “what does she want back?”

My lawyer turned to me, and said, “In her own words, your honor.”

OK, so then I had to say, in court, to the judge, “a pig reading a cookbook.”

The judge choked back what sounded suspiciously like a laugh. I kept going “a painting of tree trunks, which is original and I can’t get back, and the lawn mower.”

My gaze flicked to Dude, whose face in that moment showed, God’s truth, happiness. He was happy that he had taken something that I really liked. That’s hard to deal with.

I will never see any of those items again. My lawyer will prosecute for the theft of the expensive lawn mower at the March date, after he’s had time to review that file and all….

And the Legal Aid lawyer had a bailiff follow her out, taser in hand, because of Dude’s demeanor to her in court. Since I’m allowed to talk to her now that she doesn’t represent him, I asked her if that happened often.

“This is the first time,” she said. “And I can take care of myself in terms of harm, but I don’t want to deal with the legal case that would follow.” She smiled at me and left.

Best exit line ever.

The pig artwork is by Lori Dieter. I love her whimsy.