This is my first week back from Mexico and I had intended to write about some adventures there. But I’ll be leaving FB Tuesday, Dec. 17 (tomorrow at this time of writing) and that’s drawn a little bit of interest so let me address that first.

Wednesday, we enter Mexico. :] Which was glorious

“Why are you leaving FB” is the unspoken question behind most of the messages reaching me. Slightly behind is “especially if you are staying on Instagram.” Just after that is “I understand, and I think about leaving too.” Rarely is there a drawn out discussion (which is a nice thing, don’t get me wrong).

So here are a few points to consider that factored into my decision. I’m not going to link to any of the online sources for these; if you google they will come up first page. I don’t need to tell you to ignore responses from FB/META, right? Those are either how-tos or persuasion. Look for data crunching firms. I recommend a report called “detailing the delete FB phenomenon.”

1. Data crunchers have investigated who is leaving FB and why in some depth over the past few years. I am actually in the second-largest age category leaving. Leading the leave wave are millennials. Gen X runs a fairly distance second. Why they are dropping the big F falls into several categories.

Privacy is a big deal for all of us. If you want to give yourself points to ponder, watch a TED talk by Yuval Noah Harari about big data (and follow it with Cathy O’Neil and Zeynep Tufekci).

Probably the biggest factor I considered was “what will publishers say.” While I was in Mexico, I literally direct-sold a book to a popular press; meanwhile my agent is shopping around in the New Year a book about Hurricane Helene, co-authored by the amazing Roxy Todd (Radio IQ). Facebook threads and Appalachian American groups provided a lot of data about actions and reactions to the hurricane once the initial rush of do-gooders left. Would I be closing myself off from a source of marketing (something publishers tend to take pretty seriously) and a resource for attitude information?

Nah, said the agent I spent time with in Mexico. I was there with a group called Wayfaring Writers (you can google them too; they are a lot of fun to travel with) and the agent was there to answer just such questions as mine: will my agent and publishers drop me if I get off FB?

She gave a nuanced response: not if you leave FB. If you leave all of them, quite possibly. But you can protect your privacy more strongly on more nimble platforms. Explore your Instagram account. Same source, different vibe and easier to be self-caring.

So I need to learn other social media platforms, and that’s not exactly “I hate Zuck and all he stands for” so much as “I can only do three things at once.” It’s just that pragmatic.

And I don’t like how FB sucks me into watching reels of sad little animal rescues, or entices me to look at “behind the scenes” moments in the making of movies. Apparently, META knows these are my weak points. I didn’t know until I found myself doing them over and over, and the “behind the scenes” stories are so shallow and silly, I stopped doing that out of frustration at the click-without-treat-reward. And wondered just how deeper into Pavlovian territory we could go with me as a lab rat. What button will we push for a treat? This is not a question I am prepared to have asked about myself, a sentient being made in the image of a loving God.

Finally, I want my time back. My phone informs me I spend about 3 hours a day on it. Granted some of that is active working of something or other – a network, a plan, actual stuff that produces results. But a lot of it is that infamous doomscrolling. I told myself that doomscrolling was fun, that I WANTED to do it and it was self-care and relaxation.

Mmmhmm. Everybody has to answer that question for ourselves, and your answer belongs to you. When I dug past the first layer of “leave me alone, I’m enjoying this cat video,” I came up with my own response to “is this relaxation or conditioning?” I’m not saying anyone else would reach the same conclusion, or for the same reasons. Y’all decide for yourselves.

So, am I going to miss it? I think so. FB let me be friends (deep, meaningful friends) with a plethora of people across the country, particularly on two lists of similar life experience groups, one for canning, one for leading non-profits. The depth of the relationships I’ve made there might be ironically reinforced by how many of those people reached out to ensure we had each others’ contacts before I disappeared from their easy viewpoints.

Those are the salient points. Everybody makes their own decisions about how they spend their time. There are many other factors to consider, and that article above touches on several. But their biggest find that resonated with me? Of the people surveyed about leaving FB, not a single one reported being unhappy with their decision a year later. They reported increased personal happiness, mostly from strengthened personal relationships and mastery of casual hobbies.

I can find another source for cat videos, and the people who want to keep up with me are reaching out. It feels real, not reel.