Category Archives: VA

Never Fear, Staff Dog Bert is Here

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Hi! I’m Bert! I work here at Tales of the Lonesome Pine Used Books. I’m in charge of shop security.

Hey, I wonder what’s for dinner?

Oh yeah, as I was saying, I make sure that all the customers who come into the shop feel secure and happy. I’m not allowed to walk around on the shop floor because…. well, I’m not proud of this, but I guess I kind of have a reputation for running away. If the front door is open, I mean, there’s a whole world out there to explore. So many great smells… Instinct just takes over, y’know?

Speaking of smells, do you smell anything cooking? I wonder if the humans who stay here have started dinner.

There’s two humans here, a guy who knows just where to scratch, and a lady who yells a lot and says I’m an escape artist. She’s the reason I only get let out when we’re having special events, like Robert Burns Night or Celtic Christmas or a murder mystery, and everyone knows not to open the door until the event is over.

I’m actually named for Robert Burns, you know, but everyone calls me Bert because Burns was too hard to explain to people.

Burns…. do you smell anything cooking? I wonder what’s for dinner.

Anyway, I focus very hard on what needs to be done here at the shop–keeping the foster kittens in line, barking to point out sales shelves to the customers, making sure everyone who comes in fondles my ears… that type of thing. Zora – she’s the other staff dog who works here — says I have to concentrate more, but I think my powers of concentration are just fine, thank you.

Hey, has anyone said anything to you about what’s for dinner?

So come on down and visit us. We’re open Tuesday-Saturday 10-6, and if you come and visit, Zora likes the crunchy rawhides and I like the soft ones, flavored like beef.

Hmmm… beef. I wonder if that’s what’s for dinner?

“Hey Buddy, Wanna Buy an Encyclopedia?”

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Remember these?

One of the downers of running a pre-loved books store is the number of used books one sees that have, quite simply, passed their sell-by date. It is just conceivable that Guidepost Annuals will live on–after all, how can stories of angelic intervention really get old–but the Twentieth Century Books of World Records, the yearly Reader’s Digest Estate Planners, and the encyclopedias … well, the sun has set on the Brittanic empire.

Try telling that to the sweet people who lumber through our shop doors, sagging beneath the weight of a box of  encyclopedias. Here are a few of our favorite “sales pitches”:

“I’ve got some real valuable old books here, from 1943, the whole set! Except for V. How much do you give for antique books?” These were World Books; on finding we did not deem his haul valuable, the gentleman protested, “But in the middle of the war and all, nobody knowing who would win, it’s gotta be worth something!”

“Hi. I brought you a 1976 set of alphabetized encyclopedias, and I’ve got a real good idea of how you can sell ’em. Find people born in 1976 whose names begin with those letters, and advertise these as gifts to their families!” (This customer was disappointed to learn she would not receive half the assumed purchase amount in cash.)

“I’ve got a set of encyclopedias in my car; can you use them? I’ll just give them to you.” When we suggested she put them on the front porch in our free bin, because with Christmas coming people would be happy to have these hardbacks to make trees and angels, the woman’s eyes took on a cunning look. “Oh, well, if people can use them, then can I have trade credit after all? I figured you’d just throw them away after I left.”

And a customer who, being told we couldn’t use them but she could leave them on the porch for people to take for free, huffed, “Well, where’s the nearest dumpster?”

Do not go gently into that good night….

(The Big Stone Celtic Festival is Sept. 22 in downtown Big Stone Gap, VA! Google Big Stone Celtic for program details.)