I’ve seen the week between Christmas and New Year’s called the lost week online. Netflix even recommends some binge watching for this “week without purpose.”

Me, I’ve been clocking the Mondays. Dec. 22 was the two lawyers meeting for the judge to set paperwork war parameters and order me an inspection on Dec. 29.

Dec. 29 was that terrifying inspection, with the resultant pursuance of a protective order.

Jan. 5 is the eviction hearing, and the separate protective order hearing.

There are times when self-care becomes survival, but the question is, what does it look like in that moment? When you literally go numb and wonder what else could drop out just as you think you’ve reached bottom. Chocolate and bubble baths aren’t going to cut through the fearsome static that fills the void of silence, wondering: will this ever be over?

It being over is a blog for another day, and an interesting part of tenancy law. This week, off from my day job and trying to be myself, I have taken up arms by taking up yarn.

Self-care is better when it’s calm rather than indulgent. What do you need most? OK, find that. I need calm. So I am crocheting a stained glass bedspread in Rennie Mackintosh blocks. And logging a lot of Netflix and podcasts. Fortunately, it’s a good time of year to be binge watching and listening to stuff.

Yarn is better than Xanax. When I sat in court waiting to speak to the judge about a protective order, I fetched my yarn from my car so I could crochet. The lady behind me also seeking an order grinned. She knew.

Now, as that imagination that makes me a writer also runs crazy with “what next,” I am finding the zen of repetitive movement helpful. Slide the hook through the hole, grab the yarn, everything is interconnected. Enjoy the moment. Let your mind slide with the hook.

Crafters know how to get to The Zone. We enjoy the fact that, at the end of not thinking about what we’re thinking about, we have something to show for it. Sometimes the stitches are tighter in certain places, but they are all holding together. This time, the center can hold. So can our nerves. Yarn is cheaper than Xanax, doesn’t have side effects, and amounts to something when it’s all put together.

Taking up yarn today and I might just finish this bedspread. I’ll post pics when I do. Best wishes, y’all–and thank you so much for your kind comments, private or public. It means a lot to know other people have survived this kind of difficulty with their sense of humor and faith in humanity intact.