Tag Archives: Little Bookstore of Big Stone Gap

A Steady(ing) Weight of Book Boxes

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Boxes…. book boxes. They’re everywhere, coming in droves, full of hardback fiction, old textbooks, and occasional gems like the latest bestseller or an obscure Carlos Castaneda title. Jack reckons we’ve had 22 boxes of trade-ins come through in the last week alone.

These coincide with what might be the busiest two weeks of our lives. Big Stone Celtic Festival is Sept. 22. My book launches Oct. 2. I’m complaining about NOTHING, mind; The Celtic Festival is fun, and good for the town. My book is fun, and I’m so happy people are liking it, and it’s getting good publicity. (The Book News page has links.)

Through all the hoopla and the final arrangements of where to put the Shetland ponies (on the park lawn) and where to park the British Cars (outside the schoolhouse museum) and when the latest newspaper or radio spot runs for Little Bookstore (I don’t know) those boxes of books trudge like determined soldiers, reminding us that underneath everything else, our bookstore needs to keep running. Or limping, at least.

Between sheepdog trial planning and radio spots, the book boxes stack and empty as Jack and I try to keep the shop floor clear. That anchoring weight of books–solid, steady books–anchors us. Publicity is a wild ride. Running a festival is a wild ride. Books can certainly be wild rides when read, but triaging them for trade-in is a more staid activity. It’s like intellectual solitaire: categorize, value, stack, shelve. Repeat.

That repetitive motion of getting those volumes into places where customers can find them, buy them, read them, enjoy them, is the heartbeat that underpins everything else. We remember this, come happiness or high water, and we are grateful for that steady, weighted pulse, steadying us in the sturm and drang. Because when the festival is over, the hoopla past, and the publicity gone, it will be the two of us, and the book boxes.

What was it Thomas Hardy said? “And at home by the fire, whenever you look up there I shall be—and whenever I look up, there will be you.” The wild ride is fun, but it’s a ride. When it’s finished, more book boxes will arrive, and we will sort them, Jack and I. Then we will sit together amid our bookshop’s tightly-packed shelves with a sigh of contentment and a cat on each knee–ready to do the same again tomorrow.

The Whalen-Specific Wise County Bookslinger Lexicon Quick Reference Guide

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As many people know, we’ve got our bookshopsitter in place for Sept. 20-Nov. 20. Andrew Whalen, coming down from NYC, seems sensible and unflappable, so he should do fine–despite the best efforts of those offering to take him Squatch hunting, or help him scoop out the outhouse. (If you haven’t seen the blog post from two days ago, showing the Facebook comments welcoming him to town, well, go have a look.)

Still, there are things a city lad needs to know when arriving in Far Southwest Virginia, so with the help of a few friends, Jack and I have created the “Whalen-Specific Wise County Bookslinger Lexicon Quick Reference Guide,” to help him with terms that might be useful or used in the bookstore. Here are a few entries:

Rasslin: this is not a craft material. It’s that sport on television, the one many think is fixed. And it will come up in the bookstore, believe me. On Tuesday past, Garth, one of the town councilors, sat at our table outlining a plan for female mud rasslin to fundraise badly-needed equipment at the firehouse. Unfortunately, prudes stand in the way of progress…

Memaw/Mamaw: family-specific terms for the paternal and maternal grandmother. Problem is, which is which switches with each family. Don’t be afraid to ask. Just don’t smile when either term is used, or you will lose major points.

Woodbooger: {sigh} A documentary done for Discovery Channel attempted to discover if Sasquatch really lurked in our mountain woodlands. Apparently a few amateur photographers had once filmed a shadowy creature covered in hair skulking near a lake. (My friend Kathy holds an opinion shared by many: it was just a local guy fishing with his shirt off.)

While filming, a couple of the crew members allegedly referred to Wise Countians as less educated than some, less willing than others to be educated. This did not go over well. They also persisted in using outdated colloquialisms, including “booger,” a term for a ghost. So according to the film crew that wasn’t from here, Woodbooger is how Southwest Virginians refer to the Sasquatch that fills our every waking thought.

During the documentary, local men “helping” the crew held up some shelf fungus and explained with great solemnity that this was “Squatch snot,” aka a “woodbooger” and from there it just got silly. What is it with men and body effluvium, anyway? Now local stores sell shellacked pieces of wood knots called “woodboogers.” You can pick one up almost anywhere. (Just wash your hands afterward.)

Abuvyeraysen: As in “don’t get above your raising.” This is a gentle warning shot across the bow, delivered only to someone the local person thinks redeemable from snobbery, to knock off whatever one is doing or saying. The next verbal sally will be something along the lines of “shootfire, if’n we bought ‘im for what he was worth, an’ sold ‘im for what he thinks he’d fetch, we’d be bazillionairres!” By then it is too late; you will not be asked to join the hunting party, civic club, or fundraising committee. In female parlance, “shootfire” is often replaced with “nice” as in, “Well, ain’t you the just nicest li’l thing.” Translation: your life in this town is over.

Bless your heart: Eff you. (Please note; this one can be tricky. If the person is speaking to you about someone else and blesses his/her heart, it becomes a “get out of jail” card for trashing the gossipee. It only means eff you when spoken directly to you.)

We hope this simple guide will help not only Andrew, but others interested in the small town simplicity of our bookstore, to understand and enjoy the idyllic rural setting of our beloved Coalfields. Remember, Andrew will be blogging every Wednesday about his experiences. He arrives next Wednesday 19th, so we’ll get him settled in and start his guest blog the following week. Y’all come!