1/3 Piece of Dry Toast

sick dogI ate 1/3 of a piece of dry toast today. I might have eaten more, but our foster cat Butterscotch – the one who leads the charges and plots all the mischief – hopped up on the chair arm next to me as I sat in the bookstore with my meal. He spied the toast, gave me a bright smile of thanks, snatched it up in his mouth, and instigated a game of hockey with his foster brothers, Justin, Edgar, and Alfie. There was some complicated scoring mechanism by which they took bites at certain times, so the remaining toast was soon gone.

But it had done its work; it settled in and stayed put in my stomach, a place I had come to think of as similar to the Bad Marshes of Middle-Earth: gases everywhere, unsure footing leading to likely death; and an explosion could happen at any moment.

So I’m on the mend from the Virus of Voiding that seems to be making the rounds these days. Three nights of simultaneous toilet-and-sink hugging, my cheeks resting at each end on cold porcelain, hadn’t left much inside to expunge.

I am now determined to change my diet if I ever get back to eating real food. Our Good Chef Kelley has promised me vegan falafals. I may never touch caffeine again, after the withdrawal headache that exacerbated the first night of misery.

Who am I kidding? A life without Pal’s Tea wouldn’t be worth living. But speaking of misery upon misery, I really think it ought to be a law that one should not have to deal with poison ivy at the same time as the Voiding Virus. The cats have been going out in this warm weather, and apparently the favored spot of My Archenemy beneath our apple trees is going strong. I have poison ivy on my chin and neck, from where they gave me cat scans during my comatose illness state.

All the same, I’m on the mend. I am actually thinking about the future in a hopeful way: bookshelves to sort, pages to write, cats to foster. I may manage a whole piece of toast by supper–assuming I can hide it from Butters, of course. And someday soon, I will sip a cup of hot tea.

Soon. For now, though, I shall return to my bed and a book, and try to keep the cats from sleeping on my neck.


6 thoughts on “1/3 Piece of Dry Toast

  1. There’s freshly made strawberry compote in the kitchen. That makes a lovely toast topping.( Or miniature cheesecake topping if they last the day. Whatevs.)

  2. Poor you, I have had similar virus, not so eloquently described (cheeks, I will have to remember that) Glad you are somewhat on the mend. The drug store might have Ivy-rest, which I have had good luck with.

  3. Until you feel ready for tea try my mother-in-law’s upset tummy cure. Equal parts water, warm ginger ale, and apple juice. Really works well to rehydrate. Feel better!

  4. How well I remember animal transported poison ivy. Witch Hazel helped (nothing really WORKS, I know) “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well”. Mother Julian of Norwich 1373

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