Hey Y’all, (don’t) Watch This


Today is my 50th birthday. So far this morning I have celebrated by catching up on things that slid past while my attention was directed elsewhere: getting the final grades in, why the dishwasher was making that funny noise, blue line edits to Fall or Fly, what to do about the nasty stain in the downstairs toilet bowl….Turning 50 is very glamorous.

One of the items I’m catching up on is this weekend’s blog. It is very satisfying to go from 49 to 50. Among other things, this is the age at which society begins to ignore women, which means we can do as we like. At the fundraising galas, while the eyes of the men with bow ties are on the cute little blond across the room, I can drink their champagne. When a kitten tries to cross a busy road, I can leap from my automobile and demand everyone halt because I have grey in my hair, heft to my hips, and the authority of surprise behind me. Yet no one will hold me accountable, because I am a 50-year-old American woman.

If I’m reading the hints right, society thinks women are supposed to feel bad about turning 50, slightly apologetic or guilty that we couldn’t keep ourselves young and thin forever. Ha. I got these wisdom lines from a lot of different places, none of which I am ashamed of being in. And from knowing a lot of different people, most of whom were worth knowing, and the ones that weren’t I don’t know any more. Traveling light is a good thing at any age, so it seems a little counter-intuitive to worry about carrying other people’s baggage now.

Thus I spent my birthday morning stamping gel flowers into all the toilets in the house, because they promised to eliminate odors AND suspicious pink crusting. I found it very satisfying. Who knew they even made such wondrous things? And my husband has promised me one of those little round vacuums to do the floors – you know, the kind cats like to ride in You Tube videos. It’ll be entertainment as well as cleaning. Not that cleaning is my thing: living in a comfortable house while saving time is. I have stuff to write, mischief to make, cats to play with, husbands to tease – ehm, strike that, just one husband – and causes to support. Heh heh heh. Never underestimate the power of a woman whistling on her way.

Hold my stolen champagne glass, kiddo; I’m goin’ in.

8 thoughts on “Hey Y’all, (don’t) Watch This

  1. Go Woman Go!!!! Awww just realized I have 2 more years before I have the power….plotting in 3 2 1 ….

  2. I love your reflections upon turning 50! I did that 27 years ago and have really enjoyed not giving too much of a rip what other people think about what I do. So, happy birthday! (By the way – am enjoying Jack’s class at COA – he is a treat) Barclay Smith

  3. You Go Girl! I am 65 and I can attest that for all the reasons you mentioned, there are a lot of advanteges to beinig older. I am happier now than in my 20’s when I always worried about my weight, my looks, the lack of men in my life, my ability to have a marketable skills..on and on. It is very liberating in many ways. My primary goal is to maintain good health so I can enjoy what I have discovered! Enjoy the 50’s. I hope they will be wondeful years for you as they have been for me.

  4. Welcome to the club! Eat what you like, say what you think, and feign forgetfulness when you’re called on it. Best of all possible worlds.

  5. Hoping you had a most wonderful birthday full of fun and kitties and good books (is there any doubt?) you are entering a marvelous time of life! Enjoy it in an awesome fashion!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s