Our scruffy staff mutt Bert is the wee bit confused. And our gorgeous long-haired foster Tallulah is frustrated.

Tallulah came to us two months ago after giving birth to three sons, all of whom have now been adopted into loving homes. Accent on loving. Because–as most Mommy Cats do–Tallulah waited a couple of days after closing the milk bar, then went back into heat.

She has a spay appointment next week–the first available on the Margaret Mitchell van that services our area with discount “fixing.” PAWS, the rescue we foster for, has a standing arrangement with them.

Meanwhile, Tallulah isn’t doing much standing. She’s flinging herself about in a “take me, take me now, sailor” kind of way. And she’s mostly flinging herself at Bert.

Bert is trying to be a gentleman about the whole thing. At eight years old, he’s flung his flings. Plus, as responsible pet owners, we had his reproductive equipment removed.

We’ve tried talking to Tallulah, explaining that females certainly do have more options these days, but maybe dogs aren’t one of them. Cross-species is still a hard sell; LGBT acceptance doesn’t really cover it. If she’d focused on Beulah, our in-store cat, the neighbors wouldn’t be talking now.

But the heart wants what it wants.

Meanwhile, staff kitten Owen is taking it hard. Naturally, he feels he should have been the first choice for Tallulah’s affections–or lust, as the case may be. Owen hangs around in a heartbroken kind of way, just in case Tallulah, umm, changes course.

So far, she hasn’t noticed.

And so it goes. Just another day in the bookstore. Yes, we do sell books now and again, but right now all eyes are on the soap opera unfolding before us. Friends drop in just to see the floor show. Tallulah never fails to entertain. We should record the noises she’s making.

No, on second thought, we shouldn’t.

Poor befuddled Bert. And poor wee Owen, offering unrequited love to a disinterested Dulcinea. Y’all send them good wishes. And spay your cats, or this could happen to you.