The Monday Books: HANK THE COW DOG by John Erickson

hankWhen the going gets tough, the tough go to the children’s section of the library. There they check out audio books: specifically, HANK THE COW DOG audio books.

These little babies are more fun to listen to than to read, I admit readily. When I have a long trip, or need a crochet break from Netflix, or just want to surrender to silliness for a  few hours, they become my go to boys. hank quote 3

Hank is a self-important idiot cow dog of indistinct origins, hairier than he is smart. Still, Hank manages, with the help of his friends, to solve quite a few crimes on the ol’ ranch. His friends include a father-and-son buzzard team, the little dog Drover (whose voice reminds you of every western you’ve ever seen with the expendable beloved elder sidekick) and sundry horses, chickens, and ranch hands. Also his arch-enemy, The Cat.

hank quote 1Hank’s ponderous thinking processes, the voices Erickson uses for the characters (all done himself) and the cute plots (foiling a fiddling fox in the hen house, living rough with the coyotes when he decides he’s not valued enough at the ranch) make these books laugh out loud fun. Each book features at least one song, lyrical gems such as

Eating bugs is lots of fun, they don’t require a hot dog bun/Nourishment for everyone, eating bugs is fun!!!

That kind of thing.

hank quote 2With 66 to choose from, I recommend spacing them out. If you binge listen, they get the sameness that every prolific author inevitably displays. But if you parse them out over long car drives or desperate needs to stop adulting for a couple of hours, they act like little tea breaks for the mind. Return refreshed from the M-Cross ranch, and Hank’s weird brand of doggie wisdom.

Authors, take note (and heart): Erickson started self-publishing these books in 1982 out of his garage, intending them for adults; they have since been translated into 26 languages and sold more than 8.5 million copies to become one of the most beloved family-friendly series of all time. There’s a lot of joy to be found within believing in yourself.

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Prospero Pontificates on Luck and Weather

DSCN1019Hi. My name is Prospero. That’s me on the left, doing a mind meld with my foster brother, Stephen Pinkerton. We’re not related, just sharing a room at the orphanage until our forever families find us. Stephen’s cool; he used to be a stray and tells lots of street stories.

I was a shelter baby. My sisters and I went there with my mom because her family took us when we were about four weeks old. I don’t remember much, except it was cold. A few days later a nice lady named Tammy came and said, “Give me the cats” and the five of us and a guy named Eisneberg and a calico named Ave Marie, we left with her. It was nice all going together. The shelter lady (who was nice) said that didn’t happen very often, and we were lucky.

But it didn’t feel lucky, because we all went to a hospital, ’cause we were sick. Ave just kept getting sicker, but my three sisters got better fast: Dori, Morella and Madelyn–although Morella had a really bad eye problem for awhile. It made her look ugly; well, uglier than usual. Then a nice lady named Kim came and took my sisters out of the hospital, and they all got forever families, which was nice for them.

Me, I was getting nosebleeds a lot, ’cause while we were in the shelter we got these sores in our mouth and ears and noses. Nobody wants a cat who can’t keep his nose clean, so I figured the jig was up and I’d go back to the shelter. But then another lady took me to a big place full of books. It had four other cats in it, all boys. And guess what! Mom was there!!!! She recognized me and gave me a big lick. ‘Course, the other guys teased me about that, but hey, a boy’s best friend is his mom, y’know?

The people here gave me medicine and my nose cleared up. I like it at the bookstore: there’s a big cat castle, lots of toys, and plenty to eat all the time. People come in and pet us and carry us around and say nice things about how handsome we are. In the morning we get wet breakfast and you have to move fast or Patrick Wilson, the youngest guy, he’ll steal it right from under your nose. DSCN1076

There’s a big cat who lives here named Owen. He says soon people are gonna take us to a forever home. He says homes are all different; some are real and some can be fake forevers, but the people who run the bookstore will help us choose good humans.

I want a human who will make sure I never have kids, after what happened to Mom. And play with me and let me sit on their lap and maybe ride on their shoulder. It’s fun to do that. It would be nice to have a home with other cats, but I really hope my forever home has a dog in it, ’cause the bookstore has two. I like to snuggle into their fur and rub noses, and they like me a lot. Which is nice. It kinda makes up for feeling like nobody wanted us, when we went to the shelter.

So DSCN1013me and my new brothers, we’re hanging out waiting for the right people who smell reliable to come get us. It’s nice to be inside where it’s warm, with the weather getting cold and all. I think about the other cats out there who must be looking for places to stay and enough to eat, and I know how lucky I am that lady walked into the shelter and said, “Give me the cats.”