Category Archives: humor

The Monday Funny Story

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The Monday Book will return, but today I have to tell you a funny story.

My friend Sarah has been trying to get moved into an assisted living apartment complex for some time, and today was her day. We went over this morning to get her settled in, and Jack parked our Prius outside her cozy little attached row house so we could lift out a couple of pieces of furniture.

As we exited the Prius a big man got out of a small car parked on the street beside us.

“Y’all are in my parking space,” he said, ambling up with the shuffle of a confused bear.

We looked at the small cul-de-sac and its spaces. They were not assigned. The cars didn’t have stickers.

“Our friend is moving in here, so we’re giving her a hand with this chest,” I said cheerfully, pointing first to the apartment 20 feet away, and then at the heavy piece of furniture in the back of our car.

He considered a moment, then said, “This is my space.”

“How are they assigned?” asked my patient husband, as I decided to ignore the guy and get positioned for this five-minute job. Once the bear man realized we were just dropping something off, I figured, he’d quit.

The man stood a moment in thought, and then gave his answer. “I’ve always parked there.”

I was warming to the guy. Apparently, so was Jack. He said, “So my name is Jack, what’s yours?” And we began shoving at the massive piece of furniture with our collective 140-pound frames.

“Jim.”

“Hi Jim. I’d shake hands but mine are full,” said my husband. “With this big trunk. Which we have to get out of the car before we can move out of your spot.”

My husband is subtle. Bu Jim was a big guy, standing there watching us take up time in his parking space trying to get this monstrosity out of our little red car that was parked in what was clearly his most valued possession.

Jim looked at my husband, then at the trunk. “Will y’all be done soon?” he asked.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud. “Well, we’re weak and puny, so it would go faster if someone big and strong would help us, but yeah, we should be done in about five minutes.” The chest had started to move and I could barely hold it for breathless laughter.

“OK,” said Jim, and went into his apartment, presumably to wait us out. Jack and I, both breathless from giggles, moved the chest, and then Jack moved the Prius out of the space. (I was staying in our black jeep Angus to help Sarah move a few more things.) Jim came out of his apartment and moved his car into it. Jack gave a cheery wave as he drove off. Jim waved back.

Nawt strange as folk, I tell you.

A Shot in the Dark – – –

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Jack hits the spot a day early for the first time ever – – –

I’m scheduled for my first Covid 19 vaccine shot next Wednesday and the second twenty eight days later. I feel pretty euphoric about it! I should be safe to be around folks a week after the second shot.

It will have been about a year after going into strict hibernation when I emerge and it’s interesting to look back on how I’ve survived, how life changed and what kept me (relatively) sane during that time.

Wendy and I live in a rural area that, for various reasons, didn’t sign on to the advice and rules regarding controlling the spread of the virus; very patchy mask wearing or social distancing. So she kept me in the house throughout except to take the trash for re-cycling and filling the cars with gas – these were my luxury outings, but wearing a mask and gloves. And once we went to view Christmas lights! She did all the shopping, chose her times of day carefully and was meticulous about changing clothes, sanitizing bought stuff and getting even the floors in the house mopped with a bleach solution where she had walked in the house. 

That might seem like some kind of jail term but it wasn’t. Because she has been able to work from home I’ve been busy with lots of domestic chores – a house husband. So I mowed our yard, did most of the meal planning and cooking, did various long delayed house repairs etc. We have five recalcitrant cats and I’m the cleaner up of their litter trays and accidents (because I’ve no sense of smell), and a very lazy dog and they provide lots of diversion. I’ve also continued to record my radio programs and to interact on-line with friends and old colleagues, so I haven’t felt trapped or depressed at all. I also, like many musical friends, videoed many songs and stuck them up on YouTube for posterior (SP?).

I wonder what the world will look like post Covid 19? I suspect it will be very different, but sometimes, the more things change….

A famous British Prime Minister once described the uncertainty of political life as having far less to do with planning and policy than “events, dear friends, events” (Harold MacMillan). The same has been true for everyday life, this year. Wendy has to wait in line until she can get the vaccine shots – we may have to separate – –

Although several times during this year we looked at each other and said what is now our tag line: “We’ve been locked in here xx days/weeks/months now and I still love you.” Twenty three years and one quarantine later, that counts for something.