I have not measured out my life with coffee spoons: I used yarn

This past weekend I was at my parents’ house helping them divest of clutter. This is a difficult task because my dad is a hoarder. Literally, I was putting things into a wastebasket and he picked it up behind me and pulled them out.

I think he saved a magazine subscription offer. And face, because that way he’s in charge of what gets thrown away. It’s fine. It works.

Running errands Saturday afternoon, I ducked into a thrift store for a few minutes of therapy. Just as a woman who worked there wheeled one of those big metal racks past me. Two shelves were stacked with high end yarn.

Right time, right place, but this is where the story gets interesting. Everyone who knows me knows I have actually crocheted through weddings and Christmas services. (It’s a long story for another time. I will crochet on a train, plane, and any automobile I’m not driving. OK, once I might have… never mind. We don’t need to talk about that. The officer did not give me a ticket, he was so impressed.)

Anyway, the yarn was pima cotton, which is a special strong kind of stuff used to make lightweight summer gorgeous things. And some mercized cotton and some standard collections of acrylic, but lots of the same dye lot.

Finding multiple skeins in the same color, or organics brand new, is known in yarn thrifting circles as “a big score.”

Thing was, I don’t do that much cotton crochet, and I didn’t want to make high end summer lacy swimsuit covers. In neon jewel tones. I am enjoying making the crazy hats and a bunch of keychains right now (see previous blogs) to use up some supplies.

Use up is the operative word. I have an entire room in my house stuffed with yarn. (Our house has what’s jokingly called a secret room off the side of the staircase. It’s just a tiny bedroom created out of unused eaves space, and it’s got a fun triangular door. A friend dubbed it “Yarnia.”

I left the yarn there. Yarnia is so full of yarn that, if I crocheted 360 out of the 365 days of every year for the next twenty, I might, just might, get through all the yarn. (And that ratio of crochet days is entirely possible, so long as Netflix keeps that high quality content coming at a reasonable streaming price. But there’s always podcasts if not.)

When the Bible says teach us to number our days, I am not sure they meant with yards of yarn accomplishment, but honestly, there comes a time when a girl has to say, I have enough. At least, when it comes to yarn. Those words will not be uttered about wine, chocolate, or cats, let me reassure you.

I didn’t need the yarn. No, I didn’t WANT the yarn, which would challenge me to make something wonderful and give it away as a gift someday to the bewildered child of a friend who would look at the crocheted lacy lime green negligee and say, “Well, this is a weird wedding gift but thanks.”

No one else would have had one like it, kid, but all the same, be thankful. You’ll get potholders from the cheap yarn I bought on sale five or six years ago, because I still haven’t worked my way through the box. And, despite what Netflix movies may try to tell you about sex keeping the flame alive, trust me; the potholders will do more for your marriage.

Sam Kicks Cats

When I was a child, memorizing the books of the Bible got you points (and weird looks) from the adults at your church. I had trouble with the Old Testament order of the history books: Samuel, Kings, and Chronicles. So I came up with the memory aid Sam Kicks Cats.

Yeah, I know. But it worked.

I’ve been rereading these books because now seemed like a good time to read about a period of tyrannical instability in politics. One of the first thing commentators will tell you is DO NOT READ THESE BOOKS AS METAPHOR FOR CURRENT POLITICS. The first significant European scholar to publish in the 1600s said that, as did the breakaway guy in America in the 1700s, and a whole bunch of hangers-on since.

There’s a useful chart by a guy named Jacob Edson on Bible Gateway, based on an earlier chart by Craig T. Owens. It gives you the years and whose reign overlapped once Israel and Judah split from each other. Also whether the kings (and one queen) were evil or good at the start and end of their reigns.

This gets interesting.

There may be more about this in coming weeks, but the bottom line of reading this mess of who was killing who is a frightening awareness of how little being evil resulted in a short reign.

Awhile back a bunch of YWAMers (that’s Youth With a Mission) graduates talked to each other via Facebook messenger. The group broke up because a bunch believed Trump was God’s golden boy (think David) while a handful of others thought he was Ahab. (Check Israel about 2/3 down on that chart.)

Yeah, don’t impose today on then and look for symbols. That way lies madness. The point is, we came to the conclusion that a bunch of us with prayer lives and that magic phrase “after God’s own heart” (which is why God established David’s kingdom as the one Jesus would descend from) thought God had completely different plans in politics.

And since we all believed we were hearing from God about what to do and what to think that became so problematic we broke up, with promises to pray for each other that sounded a lot like insults.

How long people reigned (from 7 days to 55 years, if you’re interested, and the longest reign wasn’t David; it was this guy named Manasseh ruling over just Judah) doesn’t align with who was tearing down the high places and ending sacrifices to other gods; it has a lot to do with who was nice to neighboring kings.

Women aren’t supposed to have political opinions and we’re sure not supposed to know who was doing what in the Bible more than men, or it makes everyone embarrassed. (Anyone else ever been told they need to rid themselves of the ‘Spirit of Jezebel’?)

So I’ll just say that I’m looking forward to looking at the prophetic books that have to do with this history period. The whole Old Testament, once you get past Abraham’s grandkids, pretty much keeps telling this same story from different perspectives: Israel and Judah from Saul down to Babylonian exile.

Because the way they told us these stories in Sunday School, back when we memorized those troublesome minor prophets with no understanding of what they were up against or everything that came before, those were whitewashed. This story is full of death and sex and ambition and confusion and a bunch of people on the ground trying to survive while high flyers tried to stay in power.

I’m no longer convinced God is all that interested in who’s in power. Which makes people really edgy because someone who says that must not care about important issues of equity. That’s not true either. Life is complicated.

Almost as complicated as sorting through what happened in Israel and Judah, king by king, betrayal by betrayal.