Character. Assassination.

murder 1Last night was one of our famous semi-annual murder mysteries here in the bookstore. We use them to blow off steam and laugh at the events of the past six months. (They are less about whodunnit than letsfunit.)

So we asked the Provost of one of the two local colleges if he wanted to be murdered. His enigmatic reply–“Yes please”–set off a chain reaction of academics demanding to take part.  As it happened, our new chancellor had just arrived–one day ahead of our first campus emergency involving an alleged gunman (turned out to be a student hoax); we figured she might have some steam to blow off, so asked, somewhat shyly, if she wanted to participate.

The Chancellor (in cap) flanked by her VC for Finance Sum Doing, and the detective who will be her undoing (played by her real-life daughter Margaret)

The Chancellor (in cap) flanked by her VC for Finance Sum Doing, and the detective who will be her undoing (played by her real-life daughter Margaret)

Heck yeah, came the response. Can I be the murderer?

We had fun, killing off the senior management at “Harvard in the Valley,” and since the Science Department Head, an IT member, and the Director of PR played themselves, the inside jokes were phenomenal. And must remain anonymously so. What’s said inside the bookstore stays inside the bookstore.

But y’all can enjoy the photos. Next murder will be this November. Sign up now. People are dying for the parts.

The about-to-be-late Provost Hugh Sanders (played by real-life Provost Sandy Huguenin) arrives at a meeting he's not supposed to know about--all teeth and smiles.

The about-to-be-late Provost Hugh Sanders (played by real-life Provost Sandy Huguenin) arrives at a meeting he’s not supposed to know about–all teeth and smiles.

The Portrait Scandal of the Century: Arts Department Head gets worst student to paint bad official portrait of new chancellor - and results go viral despite PR director's best bribery!

The Portrait Scandal of the Century: Arts Department Head gets worst student to paint bad official portrait of new chancellor – and results go viral despite PR director’s best bribery!

The Science Department Chair is not amused

The Science Department Chair is not amused

The chancellor and her PR person arrive unexpectedly from a fundraising canoe trip--and the whirling blades conjoin with the bovine excrement

The chancellor and her PR person arrive unexpectedly from a fundraising canoe trip–and the whirling blades conjoin with the bovine excrement

The Arts Department Chair, confronted by Girl Detective Margaret Bach, admits she "loaned" VC for Finance Sum Doing a few pennies here and there. In the forefront, Eng 1 (one of two contestants for the throne of Language and Lit head) looks on.

The Arts Department Chair, confronted by Girl Detective Margaret Bach, admits she “loaned” VC for Finance Sum Doing a few pennies here and there. In the forefront, Eng 1 (one of two contestants for the throne of Language and Lit head) looks on.

Justbe Still, PR director, counts scandals and plans damage control

Justbe Still, PR director, counts scandals and plans damage control

Eng 1 seeks aid from the Chancellor - lots of aid

Eng 1 seeks aid from the Chancellor – lots of aid

Hands up, everyone who's had an affair with the Provost!

Hands up, everyone who’s had an affair with the Provost!

The guy playing the Provost (the Provost) didn't know about that little affair subplot...

The guy playing the Provost (the Provost) didn’t know about that little affair subplot…

Margaret tries to match blackmail note with sender using perfume scent. Why does the Science Teacher smell like formaldehyde?

Margaret tries to match blackmail note with sender using perfume scent. Why does the Science Teacher smell like formaldehyde?

Shelter in Place

Shelter in Place

Don't make me sing the Carmen Aria...

Don’t make me sing the Carmen Aria…

Science had a few words for English....

Science had a few words for English….

.... and the Provost (before his demise) had a few words for everyone

…. and the Provost (before his demise) had a few words for everyone

But the final words "and the murderer is" belonged to Margaret, who cracked the case. See how proud her mother is of her? Pity she was the one who got busted.

But the final words “and the murderer is” belonged to Margaret, who cracked the case. See how proud her mother is of her? Pity Mom was the one who got busted.

Sorry for the Delay, Kinda

I’m sorry about missing yesterday as a blog-writing day, but I had an unexpected appointment. Jack was scheduled to record radio programs at WETS, the university public radio station across the border in Tennessee. He does a month at a time ahead and Celtic Clanjamphry runs Sunday mornings at 7.

Impulsively, said, “Hey, come with me and we’ll go out after and get lunch and walk around the antique stores in Kingsport and have a general good time.”

I hesitated. “You mean, like a date?”

Jack scratched his head. “I don’t remember if that’s what you call them, but we can pretend we’re not married and just starting to like each other again?”

“Darling!” Men in general tend to have romance as a recessive gene. Jack… well, he’s very good around the house and he tells funny jokes.

In honor of the occasion I looked out a linen dress that is form flattering. Just to make sure it still fit from last summer, I slipped it on – and discovered my handy-around-the-house husband had washed it in warm water with the other white laundry. The built-in slip hung two inches below the somewhat tighter dress.

Jack cut the slip off with my crafting scissors and gave me an appreciative look; apparently the curves worked just fine.  Smirk.

The next morning he wore a good flannel shirt over a clean tee, and I knew we were going to have fun, fun, fun til Mommy took the t-shirt away. So we raced down to WETS, whipped out his three radio programs, with me a guest on one just for fun, and tripped off to lunch at Jack’s favorite Indian restaurant.

Which is closed on Mondays.

Okay, regroup and find another curry house. We did, and sat outside in the sunshine, but as Jack pushed felafel around on his plate, I could tell he was being a good sport. Asian yes; Middle East, not so much for him.

Never mind; off we went to Kingsport – where the recession had not been kind. Jack and I remembered it as a land of never-ending bargains, true antiques among kitsch, shop after shop.

Now many teeth were missing from this downtown’s smile; empty shop fronts boasted low rents; inside the antique stores, shopkeepers greeted us with hungry eyes and appraising glances. Browsers or buyers?

Browsers, it turned out. For whatever odd reason, antiques become luxuries in a recession; prices had gone up instead of down. Way up. When we saw a simple folding metal music stand like the one I use for my harp music, priced at $70 (got mine for $10) we packed it in.

But as we wandered, somewhat disappointed, out of the shops, Jack laughed and pointed. Yarn bombers had been at work. Tree trunks with knitted casings. Statues sporting shirts. Here and there a random wraparound, crochet stitches stretched to capacity.

Jack grinned. “Day’s not a total loss. You got to see yarn. I got to see you in that dress.”

Ah, such a nice date!