Tag Archives: bad puns

Ernest Hemingway has Something to Say

Call me Ernie. I’m a rescue cat. No, I don’t have Hemingway thumbs. I have Hemingway attitude. You can practice homage to Catalonia on me. I was made to be adored.ernest

I used to live outside, run across the river and into the trees. The hills, man, they were like white elephants. Then somebody picked me up and dumped me at the shelter. It looked like death in the afternoon, then this chick got me and took me from the shelter straight to the vet. To have or have not, I am still confident in my manhood.

I’m looking for a forever home. Right now I’m in a bachelor pad called a foster home. It’s a clean, well-lighted place and I can stay here as long as I want. But I’m waiting for my garden of Eden.

a farewell to arms

a farewell to arms

I like to be cuddled. I love to be fed. A movable feast suits me just fine. I’m a solid kind of guy. Dames worship me. Dogs fear me. Other cats think I’m cool. They want to be me. The sun also rises but not as big and bright as me.

I like a drink now and then, but what I really like is to play with my water dish. I make the torrents of spring with my splashes. Pretend I’m an old cat on the sea. Chicks think sailors are sexy. Hey baby, wanna play islands in the stream?

Naps are good. 14 hours a day is right. The other 10 I spend playing. Ask not for whom the jingle bell rolls; it rolls for me.

So c’mon down to the bookstore, if you’re a big two-hearted giver, and I promise not to give you a dangerous summer. Really, I’m a pussy-cat once you get to know me.ernest 2

Don’t take that the wrong way.

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Filed under animal rescue, book reviews, humor, publishing, Uncategorized, writing

ANNOUNCING THE 100,000 VISITS CONTEST!

My blog is about to hit 100,000 visits, and our bookstore Facebook page is about to hit 1,000 likes. We’ve been looking for ways to celebrate these milestones, and a chat with a friend the other day helped us hit on the perfect plan. (Thanks, Sam!)

Drum roll please……

Announcing the “Funniest Pick-up Line in a bookstore” competition. Witty, silly, just plain bad, or even one that might actually work: give us your best shot at sparking interest from someone who catches your interest while browsing books. You can put your entry under any blog post; just start the comment with PICK UP LINE CONTEST.

When we hit 1,000 on Facebook or 100,000 here, whichever comes first, we will choose a winner. Jack, I, and any friend who happens to be in our house at the moment of truth, will be the judges. (That random friend would naturally be exempted from voting for him/herself.) Winner gets a free Jack Beck music CD and the top entries will be in a blog post.

So get your game on, keep it classy, and have fun! And remember, post them here, not on Facebook. We won’t be able to keep up with both places. Thanks!

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Filed under Big Stone Gap, book reviews, bookstore management, humor, publishing, small town USA, Uncategorized, VA, writing