Tag Archives: book lovers

BEST PICK-UP LINES IN A BOOKSTORE RESULTS

It took us a few extra weeks, but these are worth the wait…. (drum roll please – no, nix that and strike a blast on a kazoo.)

ANNOUNCING THE WINNERS OF THE GREATEST PICK-UP LINES HEARD IN A BOOKSTORE CONTEST:

Best of show – Kelley Pearson, for her combined use of great literature and sexual innuendo:

I see you’re a Poe fan. So am I! How about you come “rap, rap, rapping on my chamber door” around seven tonight? I will serve you some of my “Amontillado” and if “The Imp of The Perverse” is in spirit, you can show me your “pit” and I will show you my “pendulum”?

Since Kelley is the owner of SECOND STORY CAFE, and therefore a bookstore employee, she is disqualified. However, it is a great line!

So here are the other winning entries:

Second place in combined innuendo and literature: MA Williams, for:

Hey, babe. You know, that Darcy dude really got a bum rap. Wanna rewrite some chapters with me?

Nice touch, MA – appeals to the literary heart and the libido. PM us your address.

Smoothest line – James Ryan’s WOW! This bookstore is magical. I just made a wish and there you are.”

We know where you live, James. Be afraid….

Voted most likely to work – Lacy’s I’d love to catch you in my rye.”

Lacy, send us an address!

Voted most likely to work only in New England – Mark Seaton, withI’m not usually this forward, but I couldn’t help but notice your amazing table of contents. And if you are in concordance, I believe all indices favor that our meeting not be a mere footnote, but rather, a co-authored magnum opus.”

Mark, PM us your address and we’ll send you a copy of Jack’s Scots Traditional music CD. And we promise not to tell the police where you are.

Voted most likely to get you slapped – Stacy Baker’s  “Do you breed here – um, I mean, READ here often?”

We’d like to thank the other entries–some of which might get us arrested, so if you want to look at them, scroll down to the Sept. 9 blog and read for yourself. A word to the wise: don’t drink anything while reading; you’ll wind up spitting it on the keyboard.

Last but not least, thanks to “Rosemary Beddington’s Husband” for the worst entry ever: Oh, is that “Gone with the Wind” you’re reading or did you just fart?

*shakes head* Dude…….

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Filed under Big Stone Gap, humor, small town USA, Uncategorized

Bibliophiles versus Book Snobs

Within a year of opening Tales of the Lonesome Pine Used Books, Jack and I had learned the difference between bibliophiles and book snobs.

Bibliophiles will read anything; these are the people who know the ingredients in cereal because they’ve read the box. You see them at airports, closing a book with a sigh and a smile, followed by panic as they realize boarding won’t start for another fifteen minutes. You watch as they get up and read the fine print on the emergency procedure posters.

Book snobs are seen in airports with the latest Hot Topic book: a presidential autobiography; a presidential hopeful’s autobiography; whatever Michael Pollan’s done now (not that there’s anything wrong with him). Book snobs read because they are supposed to have read something, or because they want bragging rights. They read the same things as Everyone Else, or the same concepts in different packages over and over, to prove they are right.

A few months ago I happened to be at a conference with a lot of medical professionals. One of the doctors said every American needed to be required to read the Constitution and Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged. These were, in his opinion, the foundational documents for the future of a country that must be led by “the best and the brightest, people like us.”

He mispronounced Rand’s first name. Also, the movie had just come out. I’ve come to believe that anyone who discovers an intellectual source of wisdom in a great classic right after the movie debuts might be compensating for something.

We’ve seen it often here at the shop: people looking for a specific book tell you why it’s what everyone must read. These snobs choose books the way they choose their wine, as if incorrectness were possible and could mar enjoyment. Hey, it’s WINE!

Other people come looking for a specific book and tell you why it interests them, and while they’re in they pick up half a dozen others. These bibliophiles choose books based on what they think they’d like, or what they want to know about, not to reinforce things they already know. These are interesting people to converse with. If some are not considered society’s “best and brightest,” well, I’ve never yet met a bibliophile who wasn’t a bright light in a dim world, always putting his or her best foot forward.

And they can tell you all the ingredients in breakfast cereal.

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Filed under Big Stone Gap, book reviews, bookstore management, folklore and ethnography, humor, Uncategorized