I have not measured out my life with coffee spoons: I used yarn

This past weekend I was at my parents’ house helping them divest of clutter. This is a difficult task because my dad is a hoarder. Literally, I was putting things into a wastebasket and he picked it up behind me and pulled them out.

I think he saved a magazine subscription offer. And face, because that way he’s in charge of what gets thrown away. It’s fine. It works.

Running errands Saturday afternoon, I ducked into a thrift store for a few minutes of therapy. Just as a woman who worked there wheeled one of those big metal racks past me. Two shelves were stacked with high end yarn.

Right time, right place, but this is where the story gets interesting. Everyone who knows me knows I have actually crocheted through weddings and Christmas services. (It’s a long story for another time. I will crochet on a train, plane, and any automobile I’m not driving. OK, once I might have… never mind. We don’t need to talk about that. The officer did not give me a ticket, he was so impressed.)

Anyway, the yarn was pima cotton, which is a special strong kind of stuff used to make lightweight summer gorgeous things. And some mercized cotton and some standard collections of acrylic, but lots of the same dye lot.

Finding multiple skeins in the same color, or organics brand new, is known in yarn thrifting circles as “a big score.”

Thing was, I don’t do that much cotton crochet, and I didn’t want to make high end summer lacy swimsuit covers. In neon jewel tones. I am enjoying making the crazy hats and a bunch of keychains right now (see previous blogs) to use up some supplies.

Use up is the operative word. I have an entire room in my house stuffed with yarn. (Our house has what’s jokingly called a secret room off the side of the staircase. It’s just a tiny bedroom created out of unused eaves space, and it’s got a fun triangular door. A friend dubbed it “Yarnia.”

I left the yarn there. Yarnia is so full of yarn that, if I crocheted 360 out of the 365 days of every year for the next twenty, I might, just might, get through all the yarn. (And that ratio of crochet days is entirely possible, so long as Netflix keeps that high quality content coming at a reasonable streaming price. But there’s always podcasts if not.)

When the Bible says teach us to number our days, I am not sure they meant with yards of yarn accomplishment, but honestly, there comes a time when a girl has to say, I have enough. At least, when it comes to yarn. Those words will not be uttered about wine, chocolate, or cats, let me reassure you.

I didn’t need the yarn. No, I didn’t WANT the yarn, which would challenge me to make something wonderful and give it away as a gift someday to the bewildered child of a friend who would look at the crocheted lacy lime green negligee and say, “Well, this is a weird wedding gift but thanks.”

No one else would have had one like it, kid, but all the same, be thankful. You’ll get potholders from the cheap yarn I bought on sale five or six years ago, because I still haven’t worked my way through the box. And, despite what Netflix movies may try to tell you about sex keeping the flame alive, trust me; the potholders will do more for your marriage.

The Sweetest Mysteries of Generosity

stuffTwo large parcels arrived yesterday evening just as my friend Elizabeth and I were headed to Needlework Night. I wished afterward I’d opened them before we left.

They were from John, a nice man who has a soft spot for cats. He sent me his wife’s crafting collection, as Alzheimer’s had ended her use for it, and he wanted the cats to have its benefits.

john box(Thank you, John!)

Among the oodles of lovely yarn and really nice cross stitches and books were a few items I’d never encountered before. Some looked like they were for knitting, which is great, because my friend Isabel and I have an arrangement; she takes the knitting stuff and brings me lovely character knit dishcloths to sell for the cats.

But amid the stitch counters and holding pins and needle tippers were some items that looked…. diabolical. In his sweet note John had said quite pointedly (ha ha, get it, pointed?) that he didn’t have a clue what some of the items were.

Neither did I.

Enter the fine folk of CROCHET ADDICT, a list of some 70,000 participants on Facebook. I photographed the seven mystery items and put up the photo.

Oh dear…… Who knew there could be such debate about some items?Thankfully, there were no fistfights – and if you’re on a large crafting forum on Facebook, you know exactly what those cyberfights look like. If you’re not, well, think political debate, with yarn, add menopause and PMS, and then factor in that the discussion is exponentially more important to those participating than any rhetoric of politics.

Then run for your life.

thingsHave a look, from top left being number 1 to bottom right being number 7, and see how many you can name. And then scroll down to see what the list came up with. The little photo is a close-up of number four in the picture, because the first time I posted, someone said the black bit was velcro. I’m no great shakes as a photographer.

 

 

DONT PEEK

DON’T PEEK

ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE TIRED OF GUESSING?

 

OKAY – here we go

1 is either a bobbin or a pompom maker, and quite possibly useful as both

2 is a cable knitting needle (think Fair Isle sweaters, because I am!)

3 is bobbins for a graphgan (and I have one in mind so am excited to have these)

4 is something to put over knitting needles to keep them from sliding off a project – except it might be a threader instead, depending on which faction you follow on Crochet Addict.

5 is a very old thread waxer – not even sure they make these anymore. You thread your thread (yes, I know, bad Wendy, verb and noun same word) through it and the beeswax keeps it from tangling and makes it stiffer for getting into the needle and working with on finer projects, like delicate quilting. (WHEE! I’m so happy to have this!!!!!)

6 is another kind of cable knitting needle – yo, Isabel!

7 is a (pick one) darning needle, amigurami needle, setting buttons into upholstery needle, surgical suturing needle. I’m cool with any of these.

December folder 047I’m also grateful to John for sending these and the rest of that big stash for the benefit of the Wise County Cats. Hadley and her friends say “THANKS MR. JOHN!”

And Jack and I continue to hold you and your wife in the light. Thanks!