Brian’s Eulogy

Today our friends Joe and Elissa are waking up without their little buddy Brian. As dachshund rescuers, the couple are accustomed to loss. But this one was sudden.

Brian, for those who did not know him, was best described as a lump of dough left that wee bit too long in the bowl. He was blue/grey/white to the untrained eye (apparently this is a common doxie color) and he liked to, well, lounge.

I met Brian at Elissa’s house one fine summer’s afternoon, when I mistook him for a couch cushion and sat on him. Brian gave a slight yawn and a small movement with one paw, to indicate perhaps I could shift the tiniest bit so as to avoid smothering him. Not many things reached emergency range with Brian. He was a low-energy performance artist.

Not that Brian didn’t get exercise, oh no. I personally witnessed the little–ehm, the lad–slither down from the couch, legs extended in something akin to an alpine descent until he reached the point where gravity took over and his bum landed with a resounding WHUMP. At this point he would waddle to the food dish in the kitchen, have a strengthening snack and some water, and then make the long arduous journey back to the couch. Ascent is more difficult, so when possible he used human elevators. He had this look that would make you do anything for him, a slight head tilt, a softening of the eyes, a radiation of a vibe that said, “I know you are a kind and compassionate person…”

The first time I attempted lifting him, he remained on the floor. Elissa had to help me.

Besides these sprints for snacks, Brian’s main form of exercise was pursuing turtles. He never caught one, but he liked the thrill of the chase. Elissa has a small hillock in her back garden where turtles burrow, a kind of low-rise condo for the discerning shelled buyer. Brian never achieved his goal to eat one, but he pursued turtles with, if not vigor, at least, well no not determination either. Mostly if he saw a turtle he started toward the hill and the turtle shot him a look of condescending pity and ambled away. But we always cheered for him; it is important to have ambitions in life.

On a cold Wednesday morning, Brian arose from his fleecy bed and appeared at Elissa’s side. This was not unusual; he liked to sleep on her head the last hour or two before dawn. But when she placed him on the pillow as her dachshund crown, Brian suddenly went into cardiac arrest. And was gone. Just like that, lying on the soft warm pillow that had been his to claim for the last decade.

It was the way Brian would have wanted to go.

Now Brian will cross the Rainbow Bridge and join his siblings Nellie (aka the Nelligator, a dog to be feared and obeyed) and Black Jack, the neutered stud who was the face of spay-and-neuter campaigns among purebred beauties everywhere. (Brian was neutered, of course, but the idea that he would have exerted energy on a sexual campaign prompted behind-the-hands giggling among rescuers.)

We hope the struts on the Bridge were reinforced in preparation for Brian’s arrival. His rotund, actual-sausage-shaped body was a dense weight on four small balancing points that tended to shake structures wherever he walked. Brian will cross the bridge wearing the slight smile he adopted after Joe and Elissa adopted him. (Once Brian knew he was safe, he cut loose and lived his best life with gusto–on a couch cushion, burrowed under a blanket, watching the cooking channel.) And the Bridge will sound like thump-whomp ssssss, the rhythm of his four paws making contact while his tummy drags along.

Fare three well Brian. I believe you knew that you were my favorite of Joe and Elissa’s herd. We figure it will take you about fifteen minutes to cross the Bridge. They will bring you a cushion halfway, don’t worry. And once you reach the other side, your heated couch-on-wheels will be waiting, with a driver to park you where you can watch the activities at the fishing pond, the play fighting park, or the rabbit chase run. You can also have them take you straight to the Bark-b-que joint or the Perpetual Puppy Charcuterie restaurant. Your table will be waiting, dear heart.

ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY: Nellie Flies Away

Today is the one-year anniversary of my friend Elissa losing a very special rescue pet. In solidarity to a fellow rescue I am re-running the post written for Nellie when she crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

When you start rescuing animals, you know the day is going to come when they break your heart by leaving you. It is a clock that ticks through the background of the 10 or so years you get, measuring sweetness.nellie-1

Our friends Joe and Elissa are in mourning this week for the loss of Nellie, a dachshund of such meanness, elegance, and grace that to try and confine her with words is as difficult as holding her still in real life proved to be.

nellie-2Nellie had a spinal problem common to many dachshunds, resulting in paralysis of her back legs, but Joe and Elissa are not common dachshund parents. With years of fostering experience behind them, they never considered putting Nellie down. In fact, they adopted her a cart sister, a little girl named Hope.

Not that Nellie wanted company, or challenges for her preferential treatment. Queen of the realm, Nellie never let anybody forget she was not Crippled, but In Charge. Nor did she let them believe that inconvenience was reason enough to release a dog to the Rainbow Bridge. Passionate about her status as Poster Wiener for the disabled dog community, Nellie rode her little pink cart through the streets of many a town delivering her message: Live life to the fullest and if it’s on wheels instead of legs, go faster!nellie-4

My husband Jack painted her cart pink when the high tech metal version first delivered to Joe and Elissa didn’t suit The Nelligator’s sense of feminine command. He would have added flames if there had been enough space; Nellie was Hell on Wheels canine-ified.

Nellie crossed the Bridge due in part to a bad drug response, and it is fitting that her final days on Earth were yet more instruction to the rest of us on how to take care of ourselves. She was given Flagyl, a common antibiotic for “gut issues,” and had an adverse reaction. Turns out, many people and dogs have such complications, but it’s not widely recognized. Nellie’s story, posted by her faithful Mama online, helped other people on Flagyl recognize the symptoms and switch.nellie-3

Now it might be sweet to think of the Nelligator trundling her pink hotwheels across the Rainbow Bridge, but no, this never would be Queen Nellie’s style. Rather, she will unstrap her cart, adjust the butterfly wings she wore for her photo shoot on disabled dogs, and lift off. She will fly straight and true to the other side, notice the cats crossing, and turn back to dive bomb them. (Our sweet Nellie could be a real arsehole when she wanted to, and she wanted to pretty often.)

Then she will point her nose toward the sun, a doggy Icarus sans fall, gaining power with each flap. At full height, she will execute a corkscrew dive straight toward the nearest Great Dane. Size only matters to a dachshund when you’re measuring chutzpah.

nellie-5Once the Dane is cowering in terror, Nellie will be satisfied that her power has been recognized, her rule established, and she will flap off to the Dachshund Shoals in search of the Blue Bell Ice Cream Van. They will have added extra cups of her favorite flavor, vanilla bean, in anticipation of her arrival.

Joe and Elissa will miss their girl, but they will continue to show the same love and conscientious care to their herd of eleven other special needs babies. When they think of Nellie, they will accept the new normal of her departure, and smile at the image of her somewhere over the Rainbow Bridge, surveying her new kingdom from a benevolent six feet above. The animals there will also accept the new normal, and wave up to their Queen. They’ll have to. She won’t have it any other way.

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