Tag Archives: double entendres

Warning: May Contain Nuts (for the next two weeks)

Dear Regular Blog Readers: do not be alarmed. As Jack and I prepare for a two-week vacation in Istanbul, my friends the Guerrilla Grammar Girls (you can find them thanked in the back of Little Bookstore) are keeping the blog up to date. When Jack and I return we will have vacation stories galore and more fun from our shop floor, too. Meanwhile, let the girls’ high jinks entertain you. Starting with Elissa, who really enjoyed the recurring theme of “you’re nuts” in the opening chapters of Little Bookstore.

Today’s is a test post: the contract with the GGGs actually starts next Wednesday, but I urged Elissa yesterday to “just check the system out.” I regret this now. Rest assured the girls have promised not to do anything illegal. However, they never mentioned lewd–an oversight on my part when drawing up the contract…. and now, Elissa:

I like nuts. I cannot lie. My co-workers also cannot deny (this). But we like wet nuts.

As a matter of fact, the general consensus across the office is: We’d rather have NO nuts, than to only have dry nuts. Dry nuts are a disappointment to men and women alike. Dry nuts get stuck in your teeth. Wet nuts are smooth and extra sweet.

Vive Graines Humides!

 nuts

This has been a post of the “Elissa has your login information Broadcasting System”

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Filed under book reviews, humor

Sexplo(i)ts

We’ve all been there. The “have-you-heard-about-the-new” conversation at an office party, the “have you met” introduction, the seductive opening line. The getting-to-know-you moments. It looks like you have much to say to one another. So you go home together.

And it’s all going great: a little wine, a little more to talk about, and then you’re in bed, and the real fun begins. Lights on low, the rhythm escalates, not long to go yet every second is a pleasure, the thrill of satisfaction is just around the corner, yes, yes, oh please, and then….

DAMMIT, the plot slides into corniness, or your favorite character takes a bullet, or the author gets on his soapbox, maybe the whole thing just devolves into a chase story from a sexily intelligent whodunnit. So you hurl the book across the bed, turn out the light, unsatisfied and aching, and seek solace in the arms of sleep.

{sigh} Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Joyous Everything Else to all our friends. This blog is moving to a four days per week schedule. This will let me get on with some other writing projects. Also, if you write about books, bookstores, or reading/writing, I’m always happy to have guest bloggers!

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Filed under book reviews, folklore and ethnography, humor, publishing, small town USA, Uncategorized