Tag Archives: one-star reviews

(updated) Young Pup Literary Critic Savages Author’s Latest Work

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a note from Jack: We normally put a blog up on Saturdays, but we’re waiting until Sunday today, for two reasons:

1) there’s been an outpouring of sympathy over the latest review of Wendy’s book (see below) and we want everyone to have a chance to weigh in; and

2) we are doing a Scottish festival this weekend and have time off Sunday, but not Saturday. So we’ll fill you in on the fun Sunday. Meanwhile, if you can add any puns to the report below…. well, you’d not be barking up the wrong tree!

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My editor Nichole sent her friend Laura Yorke, who happens to be a literary agent, a copy of my book, just for Laura to have something to read on vacation. Laura has a new puppy at home. The rest, as they say, is history.

excerpt from CRITICS DIGEST—NYC, NY 25 Jan. 2013

In one of the most brutal attacks yet witnessed in the NYC literary scene, a young agent sank his teeth into a first-time author’s work and left no sentence unshredded.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve had in ages,” barked the agent. “Absolutely tasteless. Made my hackles rise.“

“He just ripped it to pieces,” said Laura Yorke, another agent who witnessed the reviewer at work. “Page by page, he tore through the whole thing with such obvious glee. I mean, he was practically frothing at the mouth.“

The agent in question is just a young pup on the scene, but has already developed quite a reputation regarding his keen nose for writing–not to mention his signature tooth-and-claw style. No doubt he will work many more writers over in this spineless fashion.

The author could not be reached for comment, but her husband said two bottles of red wine were missing from the liquor cabinet, and their bathroom door was locked from the inside.

Sock Puppets, Scandals and Stars, Oh My!

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My first one-star review appeared on Amazon today. The author, called “tealover,” took exception to many things. You can read the review easily on Amazon, so I won’t repost it here.

The point to me is, I’m now OFFICIALLY AN AUTHOR because somebody hates me, hates my work, can’t understand why I ever got published in the first place, and has taken the time to try and find really insightful ways of saying so.

Which means I have Made It. In with the bricks, me. I am someone other people actually care to spend their time trying to grab by the ankles and pull down.

WHOOHOO!

Seriously, of course it’s annoying when people don’t get you, and it sucks when people really write bad reviews to try and take the wind out of a new author’s sales (check out tealover’s other reviews and you might see a pattern emerging) but c’est la modern vie. We can say what we think–or what we want other people to think–and take no responsibility for it. And bless his/her heart, maybe it’s making tealover feel better about life. I hope so.

Besides, in these modern times a bad review means you can prove you aren’t paying anyone to write good reviews for you, or writing them yourself as a “sock puppet.” If you don’t know about the recently-exposed scandal then Google sock puppet reviews, but in a nutshell authors sometimes create fake accounts and diss rivals’ books or five-star their own works. Yeah, it’s as ugly as it sounds, and unfortunately rather rampant. Sock puppets are part of the side effect of a review’s power on Amazon. One of the nicest things that can happen to a new author is to get a lot of reviews right after a book’s published. It means people are noticing you–for good or ill.

Remember that old chestnut that there is no such thing as bad publicity? Yeah, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but it’s true.

So, like the first grey hair; the first flight of a child from the nest; the first realization that, dammit, yes you do need bifocals, the one-star review notifies neophyte authors that we have Arrived. Or, more accurately perhaps, Launched.

Fasten your seat belts; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.  :]