Yo, girls; I’m Oliver. I’m hangin’ at the bookstore until my adoption comes through. Been a little longer than I expected, what with me bein’ so adorable an’ all. I mean, look at me. I’m cuter than barley sugar and twice as sweet.
Well, sweet, I mean, I’m a tough guy but I’ve got a tender side too, y’know? I’m not afraid to let my feelings show. Like, I love breakfast. Every morning we have wet breakfast here. The rest of the day we get your basic dry hard crap, but for breakfast we get Friskies shreds. Oh maaaaaan, them things’re good. I never hesitate to declare my love for them. I stand in the middle of the dish an’ paw the stuff. There might be some squealin’ involved.
‘Cause I grew up in a rough neighborhood, y’know? The street right outside the bookstore, that’s where some lady found me an’ took me to their door. It was nice of ’em to take me in, y’know, ’cause I was kinda little then. Six weeks old, too young to be on my own. So I got used to scrappin’ for scraps. Here, I don’t have to; always plenty. Plus I can nap anywhere, anytime. That’s great, man!
Now that I can have all the food I want, my fur looks great. I’m a tuxedo dude. Even though I like to run an’ play, I keep my feet bright white. I have great whiskers, so I keep ’em clean an’ shiny too. Fact is, I’m drop dead gorgeous. All you have to do is look at me to see that.
But hey, I’ve got an erudite side, too. I ain’t your basic street tough, y’know, after spendin’ a month in a bookstore. I used erudite correctly in a sentence, didn’t I? Yeah, ya pick up things, livin’ in a bookstore, if ya keep your ears clean an’ open. I do my ears every day.
C’mon down an’ visit. I’m healthy, an’ ready for a good time, if you know what I mean. Let’s get Friskies! Mrrrrrow.