(updated) Young Pup Literary Critic Savages Author’s Latest Work


a note from Jack: We normally put a blog up on Saturdays, but we’re waiting until Sunday today, for two reasons:

1) there’s been an outpouring of sympathy over the latest review of Wendy’s book (see below) and we want everyone to have a chance to weigh in; and

2) we are doing a Scottish festival this weekend and have time off Sunday, but not Saturday. So we’ll fill you in on the fun Sunday. Meanwhile, if you can add any puns to the report below…. well, you’d not be barking up the wrong tree!

IMG-20130119-00001-1

My editor Nichole sent her friend Laura Yorke, who happens to be a literary agent, a copy of my book, just for Laura to have something to read on vacation. Laura has a new puppy at home. The rest, as they say, is history.

excerpt from CRITICS DIGEST—NYC, NY 25 Jan. 2013

In one of the most brutal attacks yet witnessed in the NYC literary scene, a young agent sank his teeth into a first-time author’s work and left no sentence unshredded.

“It’s the worst thing I’ve had in ages,” barked the agent. “Absolutely tasteless. Made my hackles rise.“

“He just ripped it to pieces,” said Laura Yorke, another agent who witnessed the reviewer at work. “Page by page, he tore through the whole thing with such obvious glee. I mean, he was practically frothing at the mouth.“

The agent in question is just a young pup on the scene, but has already developed quite a reputation regarding his keen nose for writing–not to mention his signature tooth-and-claw style. No doubt he will work many more writers over in this spineless fashion.

The author could not be reached for comment, but her husband said two bottles of red wine were missing from the liquor cabinet, and their bathroom door was locked from the inside.

Burns Supper: Eating the Offal Stuff

bud in harpAs I’m Scottish, many of our bookstore events have a Celtic theme: the St. Patrick’s Day ceilidh dance in March; a celebration of St. Andrew’s Day just before Thanksgiving; welcoming the New Year with a Hogmanay party into the ‘wee sma’ hours.

Don't get the idea that it's all drinking. There are just a lot of toasts... Chris led the Immortal Memory toast.

Don’t get the idea that it’s all drinking. There are just a lot of toasts… Chris led the Immortal Memory toast.

But the highlight of our Scots calendar is the Burns Supper we hold at the end of January. In common with Scots around the world we host a traditional observance of the birthday of National Bard Robert (Rabbie) Burns.

And the highlight of this night is haggis.

Jodi happens to be a vegetarian...

Jodi happens to be a vegetarian…

Ah, haggis! That mixture of oats, blood and bits of sheep that normally get thrown away but Scots keep and consume with enthusiasm. I love haggis–although for some strange reason Wendy isn’t quite as enthusiastic as me. I’ve had many adventures over the years involving haggis, including once escorting (ok, smuggling) an enormous one through customs to a British consulate Burns Supper in Istanbul.

David reciting the Ode to the Haggis. Note knife in left hand.

David reciting the Ode to the Haggis. Note knife.

This event has always been packed out at the bookstore, and is the main reason we put castors under some of our bookshelves, so they can be moved to create extra space. We serve the traditional ‘champit tatties’ (mashed potatoes) and ‘bashed neeps’ (mashed rutabagas) alongside the haggis, not to mention Cranachan (whipped cream with honey and whisky, topped with toasted oats). Last year, a woman licked her Cranachan plate when she discovered the serving bowl was empty.bells with haggis

The haggis is piped in by our friend Randy and is handed ‘round the assembled company—some of whom look rather dubious as it passes from their hands—while the ‘Ode to a Haggis’ is recited. After the food, we have ‘The Immortal Memory’, a few Burns songs and stories from Wendy and me, and the hilarious Toast to and Response from the lassies. (Think Simon Cowell meets Hilary Clinton in a battle of the sexes.)

Jack delivers a Burns song

Jack delivers a Burns song

It’s a fun night, and to me the highlight of our events year. ‘Course, I would think so, being Scottish, but in addition to loving it for itself, I delight in the facial expressions of Americans trying haggis for the first time. And I have wee drams ready for those who look as though they’ve swallowed something offal. Heh heh. Get it? Offal?

For those interested, Wendy and I will do two Burns Suppers this year: at our bookstore Jan. 24th, and the weekend of 25th/26th Jan. at Hyltons Performing Arts Center in Manassas, VA, as part of their Highlands Festival.

toast to lassies