The Monday Book: Three Graves Full by Jamie Mason

masonI met Jamie in her native Asheville, when she came to my book talk at that wonderful bookstore Malaprop’s. Jamie’s book was coming out in February, so we sat afterward and chatted awhile. She had a wicked fun sense of humor.

Which is why I read Three Graves Full, even though I’ve mostly lost my taste for mysteries. If I hadn’t known Jamie, I might not have been drawn to the book.

Which would have made me miss one of the funniest opening lines in crime: “There is very little peace for a man with a body buried in his backyard.” The book’s premise really drives most of the action following: a man who needed killing is buried out back, but when workers arrive to do some municipal stuff, with specific instructions to do the front yard only, they find two more bodies.

Which the poor guy who killed the schmuck in the back yard knows nothing about. And it all gets silly from there. Jamie’s writing is a combination of tight and free-flowing, never feeling forced in description or dialogue. This thriller is smart, funny, and erudite.

Which brings me to the best part: Jamie is coming to the bookstore on Tuesday (March 11) at 7 pm to talk about her book, her writing, the publishing process, and the thrill of thrillers. Jamie is a real hoot once you get a drink in her, so if you can come out for this free program, you’ll enjoy it. Refreshments will be on sale in the cafe, and Jamie will be signing books afterward.

Jamie says she got the idea for the book from a newspaper headline that said “Human skull found in bag of mulch.” One never knows what this Spring Gardening season could lead to…

Miss Missy Elocutes

Missy

Jack is busy finishing the paperwork for his town council run, so we appreciate Missy stepping in to write this week’s guest blog.

Good afternoon. My name is Missy and I am Foster Cat in Residence at Tales of the Lonesome Pine Used Books. They have invited me to live in their efficiency apartment while I sort my circumstances.

Nothing sordid, mind you, but I was living with a family of six cats and one human staff member up until November of last year, when our housekeeper’s big heart finally gave out. We were all very sad; she was such a good woman.

Of course we had no idea what was in store for us, but we were quickly split up and sent to stay with relations. My companion Smudge and I wound up here. I wouldn’t say a word against Smudge, but let me assure you, we shared nothing but the bills and housekeeping chores.

missy sittingSmudge was quickly adopted, but I’ve been here at the bookstore’s Hostel for Distressed Gentlecats about a month now. My time has not been idle. I’ve run up a pair of curtains for the windows and given the hardwood floor a good scrubbing. I’ve also improved the manners of the staff, and let me tell you, they needed some work. There seem to be four cats in permanent residence, and they had let things slide considerably. I even had to put up a fuss until a clean white towel was arranged under my food service area.

They are kind people, and I know they mean well, but the heart longs for a home of its own, does it not? I would like nothing more than to pack my (clean) ramekins and fluffy pillow, put on my good hat, and go out the door to a quieter, gentler place. While I don’t mind dogs as such, they do make quite a lot of noise. Really, I think it would be ideal for me to live in a home with a couple of younger cats. I could teach them deportment, and the finer points of life, like keeping one’s sleeping area clean, and how to brew a perfect cup of catnip tea. In the afternoon, as they dozed on the verandah, I could read them stories of a morally uplifting nature.

missy walkingAnd while a lady hesitates to discuss private matters, I am of a certain age (oh, all right, seven) and have been… {ahem} seen to down there.

So really, I’m only waiting for the right home to come along: quiet, calm, and with a housekeeper who is prepared to brush my fur at least twice a day. As I say, the people here are kind, but they do seem busy, and I really cannot abide missing a brushing. If you think you could provide these simple needs, do please stop by so we can discuss room requirements and mutual expectations. Thank you for this little chat, and I look forward to getting to know you better soon.